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Dipshit Theory

Refers to observation that where one dipshit goes others will follow. Akin to mass think theory.
I witnessed dipshit theory in action last night at the soc hop wendy.

Youre just jealous!

I saw you looking at him!

Oh, greg...you are despicable!
by ESPeciallyscientific April 18, 2018
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Critical Booty Theory

An analytical framework first proposed by Sir Mix-a-lot postulating that all social institutions, laws, and mores are rooted in a reverence for booty.
Democrats and Republicans came together to recognize the importance of Critical Booty Theory as a framework for legislative decision making and adjudication in the legal system.
by Quan Master Quan July 12, 2021
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The John D. Theory

Any object, substance, or person has been created or built by a man/woman named John/Joan D. Whatever they created takes the place of their last name.
The John D. Theory is as follows: John D. Earth, also known as God, created the Earth.
by Kyle Ninneman February 28, 2020
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Septum Ring Theory

Septum Ring Theory is a vague insult typically used against people with septum rings on social media platforms like TikTok. There's no concrete definition, but you know it when you see it. Septum Ring Theory is characterized by the following qualities.

• Septum Piercing (Obviously, and other present piercings in a given example strengthens the theory & insult's effect)
• Dyed Hair (Typically bright, attention hungry colors)
• Heavily left-leaning/liberal ideology
• Misandry
• Inflated sense of self importance/ego
• Inability to take accountability
• Tattoos (Not a requirement, but often found alongside the other indicators)

The purpose of the insult is to make the target angry. Responses to being told they fit the definition of septum piercing theory typically revolve around virginity or baselessly insinuating that the person receiving the insult is attractive to the person delivering it (this is the aforementioned inflated sense of self importance/ego showing itself in full.) These people will also lump you into a nebulous group of conservative boogeymen, which is where the political angle comes in despite the comment itself having nothing to do with politics. These replies are exactly what is expected though, and only help to further prove the Septum Ring Theory.

In short, Septum Piercing Theory is a comment that's designed to knock a very specific set of chronically online losers down a peg, and it usually works to great effect, almost like a cheat code.
Person A (with septum piercing): Men don't deserve rights/are trash/should be killed, etc, etc.

Person B (Usually a faceless account in Person A's comment section): Septum Ring Theory still undefeated.

Person A (in a video response to the comment): Spoken from a man who's never had his face in between a woman's legs. (They think they ate with this 🤭)
by The Masterful Baiter September 15, 2025
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Subjective Assignment Theory

The theory that states that any subjective assignment (such as a book review) can be done without knowing what you are talking about (like writing a book review without reading the book).
Person 1: "Did you read the book and write the review?"

Person 2: "Nah. I'm not going to read the book; I'm just going to use Subjective Assignment Theory."
by bodfibodgjioqja November 18, 2011
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Raymond’s Theory

Raymond’s theory proposes the idea that in some instances a coincidence is in fact a coincidence but rather the result of subliminal messaging by advanced media intelligence.

The idea is that something provokes thoughts about a topic on a subliminal level. The target is unaware that the initial stimuli triggers a chain reaction of connections that ultimately lead to a final destination which is often what the stimuli is trying to promote.

This theory is often confused with the Bavarian Conundrum theorized by Howard Rein, however that principle is actually an inverse examination of Raymond’s Theory, and Dr. Raymond Cism has criticized the Rein’s thinking stating that it is too rhetorical to be properly thought of as a legitimate theory.
“I just had a crazy coincidence happen.”
Are you sure that wasn’t just the effect of Raymond’s Theory?”
by anonymous September 8, 2025
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Marshall's Theory

The width of an individual female breast defined as the circumference of their arm times by 1.5
Friend: Using Marshall's Theory, those knockers are around 17cm each

Friend 2: Dang bro, How'd you figure?
by ThunderSh0w3r September 17, 2022
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