Hate wank

To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.

Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.

by This_guy0885 November 2, 2023

Danger Wank

Cracking one out in a high risk situation in a predetermined amount of time.

He said yes to a cuppa then when he'd finished his danger wank there was a brew next to him.

by Mackerzzz March 29, 2015

couple wanking

When you and your partner are horny but too tired to have a fuck

Couple wanking is when too people want yo ficl but are too tired. So they both have a wank

by eldude bro February 1, 2017

Willie Wanks

A beautiful omnipotent being who watches over the little people of the Earth, taking care of them and nurturing them until they're strong and big enough to watch his streams.

also hes ass at every game possible

damn bro have you seen Willie Wanks? hes ass bro lmao

by Cops2 March 6, 2021

Wank of Shame

When your phone dies whilst masturbating.

My phone died mid-jack so I had to perform the Wank of Shame.

by OTG Lmao February 5, 2021

consolation wank

Masturbation that occurs after one has attempted and failed to have sex with someone. May be called a "consolation fap" by someone born after 1990.

We went back to her place and I thought this was the night, but she said she wasn't ready so I settled for a consolation wank after she fell asleep.

by ghostofshoegazer February 12, 2014

woke-wank

A gesture, speech or outburst from a highly motivated member of the elitist wokerati.

Here we go again, lefties having a woke-wank.
I will not be woke-wanked on this one!

by garethc January 27, 2023