speeding-Jesus

A car passing you while you are speeding. This car will most likely get stopped by the police instead of you. Thus, they sacrifice themselves for your speeding sins.

Thank you speeding-Jesus; I can keep driving fast now, as long as you are in front of me. Speeding-Jesus take wheel.

by heathcat June 15, 2019

Kpop's Jesus

NamSeokJiChuus Chris is Goddess Jihyo's son.

It happened one day when the CEO of BlockBerry Creative, BigHit, YG and JYP had some hentai and then NamSeokJiChuus Chris was born. People say it's actually a shit by fans "a mix of names" BUT NO!!!

NamSeokJiChuus Chris said stan LOONA and Stray Kids

X: What is the most powerful thing in this world?

Me: Oh. It's Kpop's Jesus! NamSeokJiChuus Chris! Now stan loona

by Jinsoul is my waifu December 23, 2019

Vibing With Jesus

Getting high as shit and having a good time.

Me and the boys were just vibing with jesus.

by AYY ITS ME YOUR BROTHER! December 25, 2019

Jesus in a wheelchair?

When about to hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!! out of rage but realizing you are surrounded by Bible beaters, and quickly changing it to something else as not to be forced to listen to eighty bible verses to compensate for you sins.

Gay 1 (During intense super smash brothers ultimate for nintendo switch match) "JESUS IN A WHEELCHAIR?!?!?'d be funny right?"

Gay 2 "I guess it'd be funny?"

by Archduke of Douchebags May 16, 2019

Pink Jesus

A term used for Pepto Bismol

Meagan: my stomach hurts.

Jayson: you need Pink Jesus.

by BUTT0N September 18, 2019

smoke Jesus

A joint rolled with a piece of paper from the Bible and the filter is a thicker piece of paper also from the Bible.

Or a joint or two that have the form of a cross.

Don’t just smoke weed smoke JESUS

by Jxhnny_Gxddamn August 6, 2019

Surfer Jesus

The traditional western image of Jesus which depicts Him as a white dude with long hair and a gnarly beard. Totally looks like the surf bum at your local beach. Or homeless.

The King of Men hangs 10

Surfer Jesus doesn't just walk on water, he rides the waves

by homieijustfuckedyomomma May 17, 2018