Someone who earns large amounts of money by repeating catchphrases, ambiguous one-liners, portmanteaus, oxymorons, contrived acronyms, and buzzwords mostly coined by someone else, in front of a large number of intellectually illiterate and ambitious wannabes, who stick to a suit even in tropical climes as if their life depended on it. In other words, a management guru is a failed stand-up comedian without a heart.
by creativevoyeur April 22, 2012
Get the Management Guru mug.Managment style that involves jumping from issue to issue constantly, never staying long enough to actually fix any issue. Similar to "putting out fires" and "drive by management"
Drone1: "How's work today man?"
Drone2: "Crappy, I can't seen to get the yellow stripes straight in the parking lot, they keep smearing"
Drone1: "Stripes? Yesterday you were working on new security code feature for the server what happened to that?"
Drone2: "Boss got his beamer dented in the lot and Lillypad Management is what happened"
Drone1: "Ribbit dude!"
Drone2: "Crappy, I can't seen to get the yellow stripes straight in the parking lot, they keep smearing"
Drone1: "Stripes? Yesterday you were working on new security code feature for the server what happened to that?"
Drone2: "Boss got his beamer dented in the lot and Lillypad Management is what happened"
Drone1: "Ribbit dude!"
by TedDeadMan January 25, 2013
Get the Lillypad Management mug.Related Words
- noun
1. A pseudo-psychological technique used by emotionally advanced laundry-doers to avoid the natural rage that occurs when attempting to disentangle a mass of clothes hangers - esp. the wire ones from the dry cleaner's.
2. The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal associated with tangled hangers. You can't get rid of, or avoid, a hanger incident, nor can you ever hope to sort through them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
1. A pseudo-psychological technique used by emotionally advanced laundry-doers to avoid the natural rage that occurs when attempting to disentangle a mass of clothes hangers - esp. the wire ones from the dry cleaner's.
2. The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal associated with tangled hangers. You can't get rid of, or avoid, a hanger incident, nor can you ever hope to sort through them, but you can learn to control your reactions.
Employing hanger management, Susie smilingly struggled with an inseparable glot of wire hangers for 22 minutes before finally cramming them all down the garbage chute, happily.
by Kirk Kirkland Jr. July 12, 2009
Get the hanger management mug.The phrase to describe a situation where you have a large number of facebook 'friends,' some of whom know things about you that they could post that you do not want other friends to know about.
This is a situation best managed by having the correct privacy settings, deleting some of your friends off Facebook and not initiating any posts yourself, thereby preventing a situation where a friend reveals a fact about you that you do not wish someone else knowing about.
This is a situation best managed by having the correct privacy settings, deleting some of your friends off Facebook and not initiating any posts yourself, thereby preventing a situation where a friend reveals a fact about you that you do not wish someone else knowing about.
Oh sh*t! The surprise party for Fiona will be no surprise if i dont delete that post I made with the comment from Dave about bringing the drinks on Thursday! Time for some Facebook Friend Faction Management!
by mids99 April 4, 2010
Get the Facebook Friend Faction Management mug.Leadership and Communication in Groups. An introductory, undergraduate experience at the Wharton School of Business/University of Pennsylvania, designed to make students aware of their leadership potential through experiential learning. Students are engaged through lectures, recitations, groups, and projects.
by Joseph Wharton April 21, 2006
Get the Management 100 mug.A facsimile of a manager who mindlessly follows orders from upper management regardless of how ridiculous, arbitrary, contradictory, or counterproductive they may be. If an employee attempts to point out the flaws in one of an MD’s painfully short-sighted and dim-witted decisions, an MD will either continuously repeat one of their several pre-programmed phrases until the employee gives up on the argument, or they will respond with only a blank stare that seems to say “error, file not found.” To say that a MD is a puppet is to insult the freethinking and decision-making abilities of a puppet. MD's have absolutely no job-related skills or people skills. They are often seen wandering aimlessly among employees and customers. If asked for help, they will automatically find the nearest employee and make them help the customer so as to appear preoccupied and attempt to conceal their monumental incompetence. Many times MD's will turn to employees for help with things that should in fact be required of management to know. They will also sometimes steal ideas of employees and make them their own usually after telling the employees the ideas were not feasible. They are the source of all miscommunication, stress, failures, and negativity in the workplace, yet are never fired. MD's can be found in nearly every major corporation and, like roaches, will probably never be totally eradicated. Not to be confused with actual (good) managers.
MD: Hey, why isn't Bill here?
Employee: Why are you asking me? Didn't you make the schedule? If he called in it's not like he'd talk to me, he'd have to talk to you.
MD: But, where is he?
Employee: I don't know! Anyway it doesn't matter, he's not here.
MD: But he should be, shouldn't he?
Employee: I give up.
MD: We're going to put labels on the items we're selling near this display.
Employee: Hey, I had that idea a month ago. You told me it would look tacky.
MD: *blank stare*
MD: I need you to stay late because we're getting busy. You have to take a long lunch though so you don't get any overtime.
Employee: I wouldn't have to do that if you'd let me go early when we're not busy instead of giving me a bunch of meaningless busy work.
MD: Yeah... well we need you to stay late because we're busy. You have to take--
Employee: SHUT UP! You're the reason people get shot at work by disgruntled employees.
Employee 1: There goes Pete, isn't he a manager?
Employee 2: No, he's just a management drone. Get Sherri, she's an actual manager.
Employee: Why are you asking me? Didn't you make the schedule? If he called in it's not like he'd talk to me, he'd have to talk to you.
MD: But, where is he?
Employee: I don't know! Anyway it doesn't matter, he's not here.
MD: But he should be, shouldn't he?
Employee: I give up.
MD: We're going to put labels on the items we're selling near this display.
Employee: Hey, I had that idea a month ago. You told me it would look tacky.
MD: *blank stare*
MD: I need you to stay late because we're getting busy. You have to take a long lunch though so you don't get any overtime.
Employee: I wouldn't have to do that if you'd let me go early when we're not busy instead of giving me a bunch of meaningless busy work.
MD: Yeah... well we need you to stay late because we're busy. You have to take--
Employee: SHUT UP! You're the reason people get shot at work by disgruntled employees.
Employee 1: There goes Pete, isn't he a manager?
Employee 2: No, he's just a management drone. Get Sherri, she's an actual manager.
by MastaRoe March 21, 2011
Get the Management Drone mug.My morning was filled with minumental accomplishments, like tying my shoes and remembering to lift the toilet seat.
by ricodetroit April 15, 2011
Get the minumental mug.