TedDeadMan's definitions

Stealth Delegation

Act of transfering a duty or task to a worker not actually in the chain of command of the assigner, always without knowlege of the worker's superior. Normally done to seem like a promotion or reward for the worker but really is a way to pawn of unwanted work. Dutiful worker sets precident of doing the work before his boss finds out and thus it becomes a permanent part of the worker's duties.
Useful when strategic incompetence is unsucessful.
A required skill in today's corporate world

Accountant: Dude - your so great I'm gonna award you the Data Collection Champion position
Drone 1: Whoa, I'm stoked, a promotion; what do I do
Accountant: Oh, lots of things, like collect all receipts and invoices and turn them in to me each month - very important

Drone 1: Awesome, I'm moving up!
Accountant: One other thing, I don't want anyone to get jealous of your new work so don't tell your boss, he might try to keep you down, and keep doing all your other great work
Drone 1: Rock-On.....like spy work
Drone 2: Duuuude...you just got stealth delegation 'd

by TedDeadMan July 11, 2011

Eat Your Face Off

Verb: to eat huge quantities of delicious food for the pure joy of eating

Commonly used by dieters and college students

Dieter 1: Hey, where are you going to take a vacation to this year?

Dieter 2: Thinkin bout a cruise

Dieter 1: Dude! You could so Eat Your Face Off at the sick buffets

Dieter 2: Rock on!

by TedDeadMan January 22, 2010

Lillypad Management

Managment style that involves jumping from issue to issue constantly, never staying long enough to actually fix any issue. Similar to "putting out fires" and "drive by management"

Drone1: "How's work today man?"
Drone2: "Crappy, I can't seen to get the yellow stripes straight in the parking lot, they keep smearing"
Drone1: "Stripes? Yesterday you were working on new security code feature for the server what happened to that?"
Drone2: "Boss got his beamer dented in the lot and Lillypad Management is what happened"
Drone1: "Ribbit dude!"

by TedDeadMan January 25, 2013

Strategic Incompetence

Purposely performing a task so poorly as to discourage being assigned this task again, but not poorly enough to be fired

Cube Dweller1: Dude, writing the weekly report is a sucky job; how do I get out of it?

Cube Dweller2: Just screw up some people's names and swap some people's tasks, nobody will want you to do it again

Cube Dweller1: Ahh....Strategic Incompetence....a fine idea....my inner slacker is jumping for joy!

by TedDeadMan September 4, 2009

Bedrobe

Use of bed to store clothes or other sundry items

Commonly found in teenager's rooms

Mom: " Johnny, I thought I told you to clean your room"
Johnny: "Mom, I put all my clothes in the bedrobe, it's clean"

by TedDeadMan September 8, 2010

Reaquiring My Life Goals

Recession speak for "I've been out of work for some time and am bumming around looking for the end of the rainbow while pretending to be cool and in-charge so as not to bruise my fragile over inflated ego"

Office Drone: "Hey bud, how's it going with you?"
Former Coworker: " Aw, it's All Good, I'm just kickin it Reaquiring My Life Goals, finding a path"
Office Drone: "Oh, I see.....you're trying out "Bum" as a lifestyle for awhile then?"
Former Coworker: "Yeah....you got a quarter I could borrow?"

by TedDeadMan September 2, 2010

Awesomeocalypse

When to many awesome things are combined causing a tear in the fabric of space/time and the subsequent annihilation of the known universe. Note: possible source for the "Big Bang"

Dude: "Watch this; I'm gonna paste a pic of Chuck Norris on this T. Rex having a lightsaber duel with LOL cat on top of a stealth bomber with the "your awesome" dog being the ref....."
Dudette: "NO!" as she pushes him away from the keyboard
Dudette: "You could have started an Awesomeocalypse!"
Dude: "Duuuudddeeee.....sorry.....to much awesomeness"

by TedDeadMan August 16, 2010