Rick
legendary creature of habit who somehow worries about things with the intensity of a hostage negotiator despite being fully capable of solving them in about 12 minutes.
Often identified by:
Speaking Spanish despite looking like his favorite meal should be meatloaf.
Having better music taste than everyone
Being aggressively loyal to his friends.
Acting emotionally bulletproof while secretly caring way too much.
Consuming dangerous amounts of chocolate and desserts.
Treating tomatoes like they personally ruined his life.
Despite running the same daily routine like a factory assembly line, Rick somehow remains cooler than 99% of the population. Dresses better than everyone else, accepts every joke thrown at him, and will quietly be the most loyal person you know.
Literally the best person you have ever met.
Underneath the sarcasm, routine, questionable tomato-related trauma, and dessert addiction is one of the most genuinely loyal people you will ever meet.
Often identified by:
Speaking Spanish despite looking like his favorite meal should be meatloaf.
Having better music taste than everyone
Being aggressively loyal to his friends.
Acting emotionally bulletproof while secretly caring way too much.
Consuming dangerous amounts of chocolate and desserts.
Treating tomatoes like they personally ruined his life.
Despite running the same daily routine like a factory assembly line, Rick somehow remains cooler than 99% of the population. Dresses better than everyone else, accepts every joke thrown at him, and will quietly be the most loyal person you know.
Literally the best person you have ever met.
Underneath the sarcasm, routine, questionable tomato-related trauma, and dessert addiction is one of the most genuinely loyal people you will ever meet.
I was worried about this for three hours."
"Rick, you fixed it in 12 minutes."
"Yeah, but those were three very stressful hours."
"Rick, you fixed it in 12 minutes."
"Yeah, but those were three very stressful hours."
Rick by Routinegoblin August 25, 2026
