Strava paranoia

The feeling a competitive person might experience while using the app Strava: uncomfortably haunting, being watched, followed and judged by other competitive Strava users (strava wankers) based on one's performance.

Might ultimately provoke performance burn-out and/or loss of enjoyment of recreational sportive activities due to a predominantly kudo-focused attitude.

Simong: Hey guys, you heard that Fred said he wouldn't enjoy cycling anymore and is private on Strava now?
Kongo: Yeah, the poor lad suffers from severe Strava paranoia and can only enjoy exercise with top performance levels on Strava.

by glrd May 16, 2020

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Ping Paranoia

When you think you’ve got COVID because you got told to self-isolate by the NHS Covid-19 App

“Karen how do you feel today?”
“I feel a bit naff actually, but I got pinged by the app yesterday so I think it’s just ping paranoia”

by JonE28 July 15, 2021

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gyat paranoia

When you have a big booty and you think every inaudible whisper is someone talking about it

"I could've sworn they were talking about my ass. Maybe I just have gyat paranoia."

by lavajellybeans October 31, 2023

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snot paranoia

A state of mind when in a swimming pool after going under water and coming back up and finding snot around your nose. The rest of time at the poll is spent checking your nose.

*dives in pool, resurfaces* "did yall see that?! " "no...aw gross man wipe your nose......sick!!" what!?! Oh #$%& !! .....man now I'm gonna have snot paranoia

by YnoT June 29, 2012

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