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Simp Contract

dude, you need a simp contract, you simp!
by donutkiller September 20, 2020
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Willfully contradictory

Someone who is bossy one minute, then at an oppurtune time says something like you're not the boss of me (possibly the next minute). Someone who changes their image sometimes more than once in one day (not just an online screen name or something relatively benign, but in real life/on TV/youtube videos/other mediums).
This other guy, as insane as he might seem, is at least on a steady, even keel all the time, where he's no more or less human, no more or less inhuman, no more or less bossy, no more or less subserviant to anyone at any time, since he's the same guy underneath the surface all the time and doesn't claim to be in any particular character at any particular time. At least he is not willfully contradictory, since being willfully contradictory comes with inconsistancies.
by Solid Mantis April 24, 2021
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Schrödinger's Contract

Jimmy what are we going to do? They have got us legally!

Not to fear, Austin, I used invisible ink. It is whatever we claim it is, It's Schrödinger's Contract!
by funl April 28, 2021
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BOA constrictor

A bank that nickels and dimes its customers and finds every way they can do get money out of them, especially the poor.
I am planning to get my money out of the BOA constrictor fast and put it in a credit union as soon as possible before they take it.
by Occupy Wall Street November 16, 2011
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Mother-in-law's Contracture

When a person's lips grant a facial expression of sadness when at rest or even when expressing joy. The lips fail to reach a horizontal orientation even when the person is attempting to smile.
Husband: Your mother looks looks so pissed off right now.

Wife: Nope, she is smiling.
Husband: Yeah, but she has a huge frown; it looks like an upside down U, like the old dude in Up.
Wife: Oh, that's because hse has the mother-in-law's contracture.
by MILFwithMILcontracture January 11, 2011
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Forever Contract

An infinitely long contract that is thought to be 99.9% filler. The contract can only be written by the all-powerful deity known as the Filler God.
Filler God: "If you want me to resurrect Jonny, you must sign my Forever Contract with your blood."
Jack: "Yes! Sure! Anything to revive Jonny!"
by emkay1 April 24, 2021
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Social Contract

The unwritten, unspoken rules of polite society. It's what keeps you from laughing or commenting on bodily functions that happen in public and ignoring homeless/smelly people until you can escape their visual/audible range.

May also apply to catching someone doing something inappropriate in public, in which both parties act like nothing happened and/or nothing was seen.
I went into the bathroom to wash my hands just as David was flushing the toilet. His shit stunk so bad, it was all I could think about. I tried to hold my breath and ignore it as the social contract keeps me from acknowledging the fact that his shit smell was suffocating me.
by YouStinkLikeShit January 29, 2012
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