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American Idol

It's rigged. I mean think about it... over 60,000 people supposedly try out for it and yet they have so much early footage of people who make it to the top 12...

And they purposely let absolutely horrible singers through to see the judges, because mocking bad singers is a huge attraction to the show...

Also... notice the unusual balance of the runner ups and winners of the show... I mean first season... an attractive white young female wins - runner up is a young white male, then a large black male - runner up an geeky looking white male, then an average sized black female - runner up is a larger younger white female, then another attractive white female - runner up attractive white male, then an older white male - runner up a young white female.

In order to maintain this balance, I think the winner this year will be a young black male or female... and the only one who really matches this is Jordin Sparks. Go Jordin! Even if you were already selected to win, early on.

Despite being rigged though, it is pretty darn entertaining, if you don't have anything better to do.
GF: Hey, isn't American Idol is on...
ME: Who cares? Its as rigged as Boot Camp or Judge Judy.
by Alfie The Horndog March 10, 2007
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Great American Race

A tournament which includes teams of 3, a 30 case of beer, an 1/8 of weed, a large pizza, and a 500 piece puzzle. First team to finish all 4 wins!

It is important that all supplies are from the same place
i.e pizza from the same hut
weed from the same dealer
same brand of beer
same puzzle
otherwise others might have an unfair advantage.

All team members must start attempting to finish all obstacles at the same time. For instance, you cannot finish the puzzle then start drinking. Or have one team member focus on smoking and another on eating.

Have fun!!
I'm competeting in the Great American Race tonight. If I die, tell my mother I love her.
by magatron February 9, 2009
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American Dream

the ideal American life as fed by the media; 2.3 children, white picket fences surrounding a split-level house with a dog and a cat, and a station wagon or a minivan to take the kids to sports practice; impossible by its' nature
"The reason it's called the American Dream is you have to be asleep to believe it." -- George Carlin
by Shawn E. April 26, 2003
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Americancer

The aspect of the United States in which giant greedy cut-throat corporations and/or corrupted politicians will do anything and everything they can to attain more power and money.
"President Bush's corruption just aids in the spread of the Americancer!"
by BasementDeathcamp January 27, 2008
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American Beauty

An extremely good, well-made, and thought-provokeing movie, starring one of the most talented modern actors, Kevin Spacey.

It follows the last few months of the life of Lester Burnam, as he leads a one-man crusade to save himself from the monotony of every day suburban life.
"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
by TrippleZero August 5, 2005
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american hitler

The American Hitler is down in the polls, despite his recent assertions to the contrary.
by BAM76 October 7, 2016
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American Standoff

A rest room encounter in which two stalled bathroom attendees are both faced with a desire to NOT beat the opposing attendee to the finish line (often called the flush line).

The courteous stall attendee will wait for the opposing, earlier arriving squat jockey to flush before making his/or her pioneering lunge towards the flush line. This thankfully prevents said lunge from becoming recognizable by two of the five senses of the unwitting number two participant.

A rare phenomenon, ironically called the 'American Standoff', occurs when NEITHER stalwart bung vendor have had a chance to advance their cause. Both sit in incoommodious silence while their equally taciturn cube mate continues to clinch harder than a vice grip.

The American Standoff winner is crowned with the crapshooter who is able to hold out longer than a fat chick at a salad bar, and more importantly, their opponent.

Kudos, gallant gastrointestinal gamesman - this flush's for you!
Hey Tim, you'll never believe how long I had to sit and wait before I won an American Standoff today. My lower intestine was more uncomfortable than a lengthy pelvic examination performed by a man with two wooden hands.
by Darrah November 8, 2007
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