Jesus Drags

When someone is smoking a ciggarete, and you ask for twos or last drags, they offer you jesus drags. Jesus did not smoke, so they mean they will not save you any.

Roger : Can i have LD's on that rollup?

Dom : I'll save you jesus drags

Roger : Douche

by hateallblacks July 4, 2009

Jetbridge Jesus

The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.

Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.

Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!

Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!

by Kronl January 5, 2023

alaskan jesus

Nailing someones balls or breasts to the ice and walk across their back

I gave that bitch an alaskan jesus

by Fuckboi98 May 29, 2016

Redneck Jesus

The nickname NASCAR gaming YouTuber Michael Mrucz uses for NASCAR Hall of Famer: Dale Earnhardt Jr in his videos. Sometimes also called “BOYYY” in his skit shorts by his father, corresponding with Jr calling his father “DAAAAD” in the skits

“REDNECK JESUSSSSS! Who the hell’s team is he on?”
-Michael Mrucz on YouTube

by The Only Cody Ware Superfan September 11, 2022

jesus cut

Serving yourself a torn apart piece is bread from a larger serving. Much like Jesus would have cut the bread at the last serving, just tear what you want.

I took a jesus cut from th loaf of bread our server brought to our table, forget knives.

by the timio March 17, 2015

Sex jesus

Some dude that has sex with a lot of women and impregnated all of them then leaves them with the gift of a fatherless child. He also does birthday parties.

“Hey have you heard of the sex jesus?”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”

by Havesafesex April 14, 2022

banana Jesus

The act of calling your partner a biblical figure such as Jesus while they knosh on your banana (penis).

"I heard Marcus lost his virginity last night, but I also heard him screaming Jesus, what was that about?"
"Oh, don't worry, he was just getting the banana Jesus".

by Hallistic Vocal Roach March 28, 2022