messy turtle

when a guy shits into a girls vaginal orface for sexual pleasure.

everything was going fine until alfredo thought he was slick and pulled a messy turtle. we had to postpone orgasm for a half an hour due to cleaning problems.

by nick March 14, 2004

Turtle Tickler

The act of finger fucking a girl, while moving your fingers around and making goofy doodle noises in a high pitched voice.

Tyler gave me the best Turtle Tickler Ive ever had in my LIFE!

by Jedi Master Yoda April 25, 2007

Licking The Turtle

When someone ejaculates up someone else's ass, then waits for that person to take a shit, waits for them to get a turtlehead (bit of shit hanging out their ass) then proceeds to lick the come off the shit.

"I really fancy licking your turtle"
"I dont know how to do it"
"on't worry with me you'll be just fine....no bend over..."

by Robert Lewis March 11, 2005

turtle cock

Slang for beef jerky

I need to swing into 7/11 and grab a turtle cock and a coke.

by Odinsworn December 19, 2006

turtle dicking

The act of sliding and shoving a shotgun into someone's anus and then pulling the trigger. (Turtle dicked being the past tense)

"I turtle dicked that dude so hard his entrails are all over the wall!"

"I've gotten really good at turtle dicking in Call of Duty lately"

by TotteryWolf September 24, 2017

Turtle shell

When you cum so hard your abdominal muscles contract involuntary causing you to hunch forward making your back curvy like a turtle shell

Person 1: Dude i came so hard last night! I turtle shelled for atleast 20 seconds.
Person 2: Nice bro. *high fives*

by Thatguywhocamehard September 28, 2017

douche turtle

1. A rare breed of turtle that breeds in Australia, Canada, and Iran.

2. A stupid fangirl

3. A song by " My Trans Alaskan Railroad of Siberian Tragedies in modern cities across the globe" Full song title : Make Love to Me Hard and Fast (Douche Turtle)

Johnny, go feed your douche turtle!

God slut, stop being such a douche turtle

I totally rocked out to douche turtle all night.

by Stunna Shades INC January 21, 2008