everything was going fine until alfredo thought he was slick and pulled a messy turtle. we had to postpone orgasm for a half an hour due to cleaning problems.
by nick March 14, 2004
The act of finger fucking a girl, while moving your fingers around and making goofy doodle noises in a high pitched voice.
by Jedi Master Yoda April 25, 2007
When someone ejaculates up someone else's ass, then waits for that person to take a shit, waits for them to get a turtlehead (bit of shit hanging out their ass) then proceeds to lick the come off the shit.
"I really fancy licking your turtle"
"I dont know how to do it"
"on't worry with me you'll be just fine....no bend over..."
"I dont know how to do it"
"on't worry with me you'll be just fine....no bend over..."
by Robert Lewis March 11, 2005
Slang for beef jerky
by Odinsworn December 19, 2006
The act of sliding and shoving a shotgun into someone's anus and then pulling the trigger. (Turtle dicked being the past tense)
"I turtle dicked that dude so hard his entrails are all over the wall!"
"I've gotten really good at turtle dicking in Call of Duty lately"
"I've gotten really good at turtle dicking in Call of Duty lately"
by TotteryWolf September 24, 2017
Turtle Waxing is when a male gets close to ejaculating during sexual activities, lays his partner flat on a surface (bed,table,couch....) so that the partner is facing upwards towards him while he hovers over the partner and ejaculates onto the partner's stomach which he then rubs the fluid around on the chest area giving the partner's chest a glossy turtle wax look to it.
Man 1: Dude, guess what I did to my girlfirend last night.
Man 2: What did u do to her?
Man 1: I was Turtle Waxing her all night long!
Man 2: I wish my girlfriend would let me do that.
Man 2: What did u do to her?
Man 1: I was Turtle Waxing her all night long!
Man 2: I wish my girlfriend would let me do that.
by Gangstermac January 13, 2014
A Jersey Turtle is an annoying and vaguely Soprano-esqe pest that crawls out of the armpit of the United States, New Jersey, and infests 'quaint' and 'resort' towns throughout the state of Vermont. As soon as the snow hits they come up from hibernation to 'hit the slopes, dude!' The most common location for a Jersey Turtle to be spotted is along USRT.4 heading from New York state into Rutland, VT.
Most Jersey Turtles are large oversized SUVs including (but not limited to): Suburbans, Hummers, Tahoes, Lexus', and rarely a Land Rover. Expect to see various items of ski/snowboard gear to be strewn across the road as well... this is the telltale sign that a Jersey Turtle has been in the area.
Most Jersey Turtles are large oversized SUVs including (but not limited to): Suburbans, Hummers, Tahoes, Lexus', and rarely a Land Rover. Expect to see various items of ski/snowboard gear to be strewn across the road as well... this is the telltale sign that a Jersey Turtle has been in the area.
"Oh crap, is that a car in the median?"
"Nah, it's just a Jersey Turtle."
"Ah, ok... they should learn to drive"
"Sure, but then what would they replace the drives licenses with in the vending machines?"
"Good point."
"Nah, it's just a Jersey Turtle."
"Ah, ok... they should learn to drive"
"Sure, but then what would they replace the drives licenses with in the vending machines?"
"Good point."
by theturtlehunter February 24, 2010