DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are asymptomatic COVID carrier.
ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.
ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.
ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!
DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?
1) stop being a little bitch.
2) think about others you might infect.
3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.
4) Where my copay at, son???
ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
ME: Whaat, bruh? Naw, I feel good! I ain’t infected! What am I infected with?
DOCTOR: COVID, the test was for COVID. You are infected. With the COVID virus.
ME: That’s some bullshit! That ain’t me! I’m good, baby! 100% Beastmode!!
DOCTOR: Sorry sir, but the tests are accurate. You are an asymptomatic COVID carrier and you are at risk of infecting others.
ME: you ain't hearing me? Beast-fuckin’-Mode!
DOCTOR: You’ll need to quarantine yourself and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the spread of COVID.
ME: Quara-what? Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! You want me to die? Thought you was a doctor?!
DOCTOR: MmmKay. Sir. If I may...?
1) stop being a little bitch.
2) think about others you might infect.
3) wear your fucking mask, you bitchass fucktard.
4) Where my copay at, son???
ME: It’s just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati)…fucking masks…
DOCTOR: Oh, and the mask covers you mouth AND YOUR NOSE. Because the COVID virus is up in your nose. So cover your fucking nose, Captain Beastmode. Stethoscope droppppp!!
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
Get the Asymptomatic COVID mug.When someone claims to have covid-19 yet does not reveal much information on their exact physical condition. They are only ill for a few days and then claim to be back to normal which makes one question if they had the virus at all.
Chad called in sick Monday and said he had coronavirus. By Wednesday he was out drinking with the guys again. He had presidential covid.
by Randi Newton October 11, 2020
Get the Presidential Covid mug.When the Facebook page of Venezuelan President-turned-Dictator Nicolás Maduro was frozen after he repeatedly promoted misinformation about the coronavirus, such as claiming with zero evidence that a herbal remedy could cure Covid-19.
Like US ex-President Donald Trump and Brazil President Jair Bolsonaro who both promoted fake remedies, Venezuelan’s Prescriptor-in-Chief is advising his people how to fight Covid-🇻🇪 inexpensively with herbs rather than depending on dear risky vaccines produced by unfriendly Western nations.
by Covido May 6, 2021
Get the Covid-🇻🇪 mug.On the Covid AKA on the Crown like... on the cuff but cooler and 2020.
On the Crown is like taking a bet with your life because you're a covidiot
then..... when the Crown collets, there is no funeral just disposal.
You sure got that "on the covid" how much did it cost you? bro damn!
On the Crown is like taking a bet with your life because you're a covidiot
then..... when the Crown collets, there is no funeral just disposal.
You sure got that "on the covid" how much did it cost you? bro damn!
by Jefe141 April 9, 2020
Get the On the Covid mug.The art of apllying make-up to your cheek bones so they pop in the most beautiful and vibrant way while wearing your newly required Covid-19 face mask.
Luckily, now I can save time on make-up! I can throw away my lipstick, covid-contour my cheeks, put on my bithchin' face mask and hit the grocery store ready to impress!
by East Tennessee April 14, 2020
Get the Covid-contour mug.When the child you groomed for the past 10 years finally turns 18 and wants to sleep with you but you suddenly lose attraction for them and say that you can’t cus you caught Covid.
by Beaglemaster69 April 16, 2022
Get the Covid-18 mug.