First Degree Drunk

The intentional intoxication of person or person by person, or persons, who act act willfully, deliberately, and with planning to get completely shitfaced.

Akin to First Degree Murder

Brian: I plan on going out Friday night after work and getting hammered at 1-O in downtown LA. Want to go?

Joseph: You're a real first degree drunk Brian. I'll be there at 6:30.

by Breakfast Burrito lover 724 July 6, 2020

first order equations

A solution of a first order differential equation that make fucking sense, dear god why does my fuckin math result in shit that goes from 0 to weird ass fuckin irrational numbers goddamnit I just want a fucking pretty little shit where f(t) is equal to 0 every time I take a fucking derivative.

DE Prof: Are y'all ready to go over your first order equations?
Student: Kill me.

by Genetic Illnesses September 11, 2020

first officer

When you are second in command to a legend who is the Captain but who very quickly realises that the first officer has total control

I sailed my boat as first officer before quickly becoming the captain

by J_gogo September 19, 2020

The First Law of Engineering

The premise that 1) Anything can be fixed by hitting it with a hammer, and 2) If you cannot fix the problem, you do not have a big enough hammer.

See also: Percussive Maintenance, Harmonic Persuasion.

"It's The First Law of Engineering, Leonidas,” Granadica sent. “If you can’t fix it, you’re not using a big enough hammer.”

-Granadica in The Hot Gate, book three of the Troy Rising series by John Ringo

by Western_Rambler November 5, 2020

Jake Piper's first law

The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.

Forget the minus.

Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

First Degree Manhoodslaughter

A death resulting from the repeated action of beating someone wildly with your penis. The coroner's report usually shows multiple mushroom shaped bruises to the skull region.

Gentleman: Guys, I am getting charged with first degree manhoodslaughter. I may be canned for a number of years.

Friend: What is that?

Gentleman: I accidently killed my girlfriend last month. She wouldn't swallow my load so I started beating her senseless with my man pipe. I stopped too late and now am facing that charge.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017

first month free

A female Dino eats a orange political figure 34 times exactally and then performs a satanic ritual.

First month free is coll

by Jeb bush enrich killduff x joe December 8, 2017