Two Ton Paperweight

a 4000 pound piece of shit car referenced on Psychostick's cd "We Couldn't Think of a Title"

My Two Ton Paperweight always dies.

by Chris Matlock September 21, 2007

Granny Two Shoes

An outspoken often times rude grandmother. Usually with grey / white hair which is cut very short like a man's. Their facial appearence is often ugly refered to as a, "mug". Usually their marriages are still intact over many years, however there is no, "love" instead there is hatred and contempt for their partner. They often demand people serve them like royalty and often times carry grudges over their entire lifetime. They often make impulsive and irrational decisions based on emotion and distorted facts. There is a high concentration of these types in southwest Florida.

The granny two shoes next door drove over and destroyed my mail box with her cadillac! When I asked what happened she said it was my fault! Granny two shoes also said, "....my jerk husband is still alive damnit!"

by Papertowel9999 April 25, 2011

two-headed monster

A two headed dildo that bitches be grinding on simultaneously.

Those white bitches in Requiem For A Dream were taking that two-headed monster so hard there pussies were touching.

by Rolexxx March 6, 2010

Two-Week Troll

n: an online chatterer who is interested, intense and intriguing that, without explanation, abruptly ceases contact after a period of 14 days.

"i thought this guy was the real deal, but he was just a two-week troll."

by little.d February 5, 2010

two finger scoop

When you use your two fingers to wipe when you're all out of toilet paper.

"Man there was no toilet paper in the bathroom so I had to do the two finger scoop"

by 2 legit April 12, 2007

coffee and eggs for two

A ridiculous mandatory procedure passed down from management or another department which only serves to slow down communication or production.

Derived from an episode of Danger Man/ Secret Agent starring Patrick McGoohan in which two spies meet at a cafe and are forced to use the code phrases, "What'll we have, coffee and eggs for two?" with the response "Why not make it scrambled?" in spite of the fact that they know each other.

It is also sometimes shortened to "servings of coffee and eggs" if more than one procedure appears at a time.

I was late to the meeting because my report was stuck in coffee and eggs for two.

by Jen Minola July 31, 2005

two-faced bitch

a two faced bitch is a female who yew think is your friend and yew tell her everything then her hoe ass goes around and tells everyone all yo cool-aid

i told paisley all my business think'n she would keep her big fat dick suckin lips shut but boy i was wrong she told just about the whole school and i wanted to beat her ass she is a two-faced bitch!!

by jellie96 January 6, 2010