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Humping the bed

While usually a form of self-pleasure, you can also get a girl to ride you from behind and hump you into the bed until you climax.

My friend with benefits, a female cop, had me lie down naked, face first on her bed. She looked great in her sports bra and spandex yoga pants.

She climbed on top of my hamstrings and grabbed both of my wrists, placing them behind my back. I was so turned on at this point, my throbbing erecting was as hard as a rock and rubbing up against her silky bedsheets.

“Sorry handsome, I’m going to have to place you under arrest.” she said mockingly, handcuffing my wrists behind my back. With her weight on top of my legs, I was completely immobilized.
She placed one hand on the back of my neck, and the other on top of the cuffs keeping my wrists in place. I tried turning my head to get a good look at her, but she held my neck in place, preventing me from doing so.

“Nuh uh uh.” she said.

She proceeded to thrust her hips into my backside, causing my throbbing cock to slide along her soft, smooth bedsheets. I gasped.

“Feels good, huh?” she said, laughing.

She continued thrusting into me, holding my wrists and neck with each hand the whole time. I started moaning at how good my cock felt from rubbing her silky bedsheets, on top of the arousal of her straddling me from behind and controlling me like this.

I couldn’t take it anymore. My cock erupted like a volcano, and I felt giant waves of cum spurting out from underneath me. My entire body was quivering and twitching. She was laughing the whole time I was climaxing, getting off on it nearly as much as I was. She didn’t stop thrusting into me from behind until i finally stopped cumming about a full minute later.

After the climax subsided, I was panting for breath and too drained to move, even if I wasn’t immobilized by her cuffs and weight. She had done an amazing job of humping the bed with me.

I felt her lean forward to whisper in my ear from behind. “Wait right here… I’m going to get a riding crop, and then I’ll be back for you.”
by GirlsTyingUpGuys May 11, 2023
mugGet the Humping the bedmug.

Bed shit crazy

When someone is so off the rails, that they’ll shit on your side of the bed in an attempt to get revenge.
“Man, that girl Amber dropped a shit right on the bed.”
Yeah bro, she is bed shit crazy!”
by meowverseer May 7, 2022
mugGet the Bed shit crazymug.

bed chocolate

Residual excretion in, on, or around one's mattress, which is later mistaken for crumbs of chocolate.
Willard: Bernadine shat on my dick last Thursday evening while we were sleeping.
Hobo 1: Well, that's unfortunate...
Willard : The worst part is that I thought the bed chocolate is was a piece of the candy bar that I was eating yesterday afternoon for elevenses.

Hobo 2: STANKY!
by killbo December 15, 2011
mugGet the bed chocolatemug.

Fucked the bed

Screwing up something so ridiculously that the entire project was about as effective as "fucking the bed"
Wow Craig, you missed setting your line up Sunday after a brilliant week and ended up handing over your win, you really "fucked the bed" on that one.
by Savage Banshee April 23, 2017
mugGet the Fucked the bedmug.

Bed Sniffer

Australian slang; An investigator from a welfare agency, who comes to your house to test your eligibility and question weather or not you are having sexual relations with your housemates. (As income could be less for people in a defacto relationship, than that of people simply co-residing.
Had to set up a second bed in the spare room today, because the bed sniffers are coming to investigate.
by 3BG October 4, 2019
mugGet the Bed Sniffermug.

bed pig

A small to medium sized domestic cat that when sleeping in the bed with its owner takes up 75% or more of the mattress area.
This horizontal chihuahua is a total bed pig.
by James_onthe_Rocks1 January 9, 2018
mugGet the bed pigmug.

Bed wetter

Someone who urinate in their bed

Mom: Daniel why did you piss in the bed again YOU BED WETTER

Daniel: I JUST CANT CONTROL IT
Lily went to a sleepover and her friends called her a bed wetter for pissing in the sleeping bag.
by Nathan_Quickscopes July 17, 2016
mugGet the Bed wettermug.

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