two cats and a turtle

A euphemism for the male genitalia. Two cats (furry balls) and a turtle (the penis which retracts when it's cold).

Would you like to come to my house and sit on my couch and drink some wine? I have two cats and a turtle wink wink.

by Rudelittlepig April 20, 2018

Two Toke Mole

When someone who resembles a mole (physically or mentally), takes two tokes of a joint and starts coughing up their lungs.

Two Toke Mole: Man I got so stoned last night!
Person: Dude, you took two tokes and passed out...

by roleypoleymemleh June 14, 2013

Two-State Period

a medical condition you (🫵) have reached in every exam season where u constantly shift between two states

1. All your 💩 on your bed
2. All your 💩 on your table

This is a result of not giving a 💩 cause all u want to do is sleep (and watch tiktok) but u have to study so u do exactly that.

Characterized by

• Random papers on the floor that the patient was too lazy to throw away
• Messy bed that hasn't been made in weeks
• No organisation of whatever books and stuff they have anywhere
• Millions of pens that have run out of ink.

Treatment: Finish ur exams. (good luck!)

Anna has room likes she's reached her Exam Two-State Period. Her 💩 is everywhere!

by ltsam May 23, 2022

know a thing or two

to have practical knowledge

Boy does she know a thing or two about politics.

by The Return of Light Joker February 25, 2008

Goody Two-Shoes

A person who always does the "right thing", never does anything that they're "not supposed to do" and acts "perfect" in every single way possible. Usually a very peppy/happy person who is a "go getter". Also usually a girl. These people can be very annoying because of these traits.

Omg, that girl is such a goody two-shoes. I hate the way she acts like the teachers pet.

by I-Dunno October 4, 2010

Granny Two Shoes

An outspoken often times rude grandmother. Usually with grey / white hair which is cut very short like a man's. Their facial appearence is often ugly refered to as a, "mug". Usually their marriages are still intact over many years, however there is no, "love" instead there is hatred and contempt for their partner. They often demand people serve them like royalty and often times carry grudges over their entire lifetime. They often make impulsive and irrational decisions based on emotion and distorted facts. There is a high concentration of these types in southwest Florida.

The granny two shoes next door drove over and destroyed my mail box with her cadillac! When I asked what happened she said it was my fault! Granny two shoes also said, "....my jerk husband is still alive damnit!"

by Papertowel9999 April 25, 2011

Two Ton Paperweight

a 4000 pound piece of shit car referenced on Psychostick's cd "We Couldn't Think of a Title"

My Two Ton Paperweight always dies.

by Chris Matlock September 21, 2007