A car passing you while you are speeding. This car will most likely get stopped by the police instead of you. Thus, they sacrifice themselves for your speeding sins.
Thank you speeding-Jesus; I can keep driving fast now, as long as you are in front of me. Speeding-Jesus take wheel.
by heathcat June 15, 2019
Get the speeding-Jesusmug. by G520 April 24, 2023
Get the finding jesusmug. by Jireh July 25, 2012
Get the Jesus Pimplemug. "hook and loop" straps (note: the originals are known as "velcro")
these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)
the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)
the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
be right with you! , godda find a way to contain this cord! (response:) try this Jesus strap !
when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !
what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!
when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !
what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!
by michael foolsley April 14, 2022
Get the Jesus strapsmug. by Decimator June 28, 2011
Get the Jesus tvmug. When your in the middle of fucking and realize that you are not holy and Jesus would not want you fucking for pleasure
Damn I was having the best sex of my life until I thought about Jesus. I guess I was hit with the Ruckus and Jesus
by Fidget spinner licker April 1, 2019
Get the Ruckus and Jesusmug. Kids with blue eyes and blonde hair, who's parents may have the same trait, and come from the south and brag about how awesome jesus is, even though deep down their awful people.
That new kid from georia is such a Jesus Whompper. He said Jesus loves everyone just before he laughed at the mentally challenged kids.
by carlitohasballs April 7, 2009
Get the Jesus Whomppermug.