by Prime December 20, 2002
Get the West Jesusmug. by Ingoe March 3, 2009
Get the Jesus Snipermug. One of the greatest pranks of this Common Era, begotten by our Savior himself.
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus asks his disciples, "Who am I?" Christ receives three answers:
1.) Peter: "You are a righteous messenger"
2.) Matthew: "You are a wise philosopher"
3.) Thomas: "My mouth is wholly incapable of saying whom you are like"
Upon these answers, Jesus pulls Thomas aside and reveals three secret sayings to him. Thomas returns to the other disciples, and they eagerly ask what Jesus had said. Thomas tells them, "If I tell you even one of the things which he told me, you will pick up stones and throw them at me; and a fire will come out of the stones and burn you up."
The three secret sayings were never revealed from Thomas, and died out with him. What's the prank? When Jesus pulled Thomas aside, what he actually said was something along the lines of:
"Yo, Thomas, I've got this brilliant fucking idea. I'm going to whisper in your ear some nonsense, and you just nod. When you get back to the other 'sciples over there, they're going to ask you what I said. Just tell them I told you three secret sayings and that you can't ever tell them what they are. It'll drive them and the future religious world ridonkeykong!"
John 8:12
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
"When Jesus spoke again to the people he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, unless, of course, that person falls for another one of my infallible Jesus pranks!"
by chazmatazz February 17, 2009
Get the Jesus prankmug. A term used to describe the divinity of Joe Mauer, the greatest baseball player, Minnesota Twin, and Minnesotan to ever grace this land.
by Punto4President April 14, 2010
Get the Baby Jesusmug. My man Jesus Lugo is simply built differently. So it is justifiable as to why he went 140 on a school zone
by Luzzo October 18, 2020
Get the jesus lugomug. by AYY ITS ME YOUR BROTHER! December 25, 2019
Get the Vibing With Jesusmug. A hasty way to clean dishes, namely cups. Originating from the christian ritual, the eucharist, in which only the rim of the cup is cleaned w/ a piece of cloth for the next person to drink.
joe: dude lets go
bill: hold on my mom told me to clean all the dishes in the sink
joe: wat are u a caveman? just toss them in the dish washer
bill: its broken
joe: then just jesus clean them bitches and lets go
bill: hold on my mom told me to clean all the dishes in the sink
joe: wat are u a caveman? just toss them in the dish washer
bill: its broken
joe: then just jesus clean them bitches and lets go
by MaGoo69 January 5, 2011
Get the Jesus Cleanmug.