A person (typically a family member) that calls you right before you ejaculate, messing up your rhythm and taking you out of the zone
Last night I was in the middle of a great jerk off session until my great grandma phoned me. She is such a wank fiend
by Dr. Schmedt May 18, 2018
Get the Wank Fiendmug. by Kyle Pseudo October 16, 2019
Get the Wank Murdermug. You won't believe it Raymondo, but I had a burglar wank last night and my wife didn't even stir. Came from the bottom of my bollocks mate
by aljazmin November 12, 2021
Get the Burglar Wankmug. The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.
by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017
Get the Bridge Wankmug. Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.
Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.
by Theilliterate June 28, 2023
Get the Allegorical Wankmug. A masturbation session done when thinking about or looking at pictures of someone from your past. Could be an ex-girlfriend from a few years back, your high school geography teacher, or anyone you no longer interact with.
With no clubs open and no chances to meet new people, all James could do was knock out a few throwback wanks every night.
by J. Domain February 26, 2021
Get the Throwback wankmug. by Bigfatdoggo October 11, 2017
Get the wank comamug.