Allegorical Wank

Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.

See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.

Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.

by Theilliterate June 28, 2023

wank vagina

When you're balls deep in her and you put your hand in with it and wank off inside her

"Hey Mary, do you wanna try something different?"
"Sure! What is it?"
"How about a kinky wank vagina?"

by kittykatchan December 16, 2016

Wank Features

When a guy is acting like a wanker and has the features of a wanker.

Has wank features been in touch yet? 🙄

by Sez1987 August 23, 2021

Danger Wank

Cracking one out in a high risk situation in a predetermined amount of time.

He said yes to a cuppa then when he'd finished his danger wank there was a brew next to him.

by Mackerzzz March 27, 2015

Danger wank

when you start wanking and shout to your mother to come to your room , and see if you can finish before she opens your bedroom door.

I'm so embarrassed, yesterday I failed at a danger wank.

by Dragon67 April 16, 2023

Danger Wank

A danger rank is were you start Wanking/Masturbating/Pulling The Ham/ Beating Your Meat/ Tickling The Pickle/ Kissing The Pork etc. You call your mother or father into the room and try to finish before they enter. Victors of this challenge will be praised and have the right to boast about it, if they do not become the leader of the group then get new friends. Of course there will be contesters, there always is. Time yourself next time.

Jim: How come your the leader of the group?
Bob: I performed a danger wank and succeeded!
Jim: Holy shit! All praise lord Bob

by BigLadGreggs March 09, 2020

Wank Bank

A mental folder of photos used for the sexual pleasuring of yourself.

{Man mid-sex} I'll have to save that for the wank bank!

by Peachy_107 May 30, 2022