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Wouldn't puck flies off a cow shite

Irish phrase, used to describe someone who lacks any skill in the sport of hurling/ camogie. When referring to Ireland's national sport, one may commonly hear people mention the act of 'pucking' the sliothar (ball) with the hurley, one of the many skills in the game. Pucking is in fact considered to be the sport's most fundamental skill, with any inability to perform this skill essentially dooming a player to failure. In rural Ireland, where hurling is commonly played, it is not uncommon for one to encounter the fecal matter of cows or other animals when strolling through a country field. On closer inspection, one may observe insects such as flies and dung beetles congregating around the fecal matter. The proximity of the flies to the fecal matter is generally such that they would be very easy targets should one feel compelled to swing a hurley in their direction. Thus, for someone to be considered unable to connect with flies in close proximity to a cow's fecal matter, they must be completely lacking in the basic skills of hurling/ camogie.
Jaysus Christ that full forward wouldn't puck flies off a cow shite!
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Albuquerque Mannequeef fiesta

The act in which a elder hill billy woman stands before a small group of people in a stationary artistic pose. While in this pose she releases various soft faint vaginal farts in the form of a therapeutic tribal ritual.
Loraine was so drunk she went into the local supermarket and performed an albuquerque mannequeef fiesta.

Amazon Forest Fires 

Noun: The sensation of burning in the throat after smoking ganja.
omg I just smoked the biggest bowl, I have the Amazon Forest Fires
Amazon Forest Fires by ganjagrace February 23, 2021

and no flies 

Polari for ”honestly”/"seriously”/"straight up”/"dead serious
(please note: these are modernised versions of the use of this phrase)

”Seriously! They just stole my food, and no flies! ”

”She was literally so hot, no flies”

Yella Bitin Flies 

Also referred to as "Yellow Flies," for the yanks in the audience. Commonly seen in the Southern States. It is what it sounds like for the most part. Just a fly that's yellow in color and has a bite that ain't no joke.
Son I'm gettin toe up by dem yella bitin flies, let's head in and turn on the TV. Heard theys a new documentry on Carolina wampus cats.

The Way the Crow Flies 

A novel written by Ann-Marie MacDonald, often recommended in grade 12 English classes. Whatever you do, DO NOT READ IT. It's 400 pages of boring, followed by 400 pages of pure trauma-inducing scenarios.
"Bro, have you read The Way the Crow Flies for class yet?"

"Haven't you heard? That book's terrifying! No way I'm reading it."
The Way the Crow Flies by Gilsin September 16, 2021

DOG PECKER FLIES 

A close family member to the fruit fly, but lacks discernment. Rather than gravitate to the sweet and sticky goodness of a booze bottle or fermenting raisin juice, the DOG PECKER FLY prefers to swarm around the swollen testicles of mangy dogs, too hot and apathetic to rid themselves of these pests.
Good Lord! Look at that swarm of DOG PECKER FLIES on MushHead's ball sac! Guess the only thing he's going to be humping is a bucket of Vaseline!