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Crumpet Trumpet

A man who becomes sexually aroused while giving a woman oral sex;

often sought by legions of college females
A: Oh, he's in a Ska band, what does he play?

B: Let's just say he's a Crumpet Trumpet.

A: Mandy's gonna want his number..
by brookeybby December 1, 2010
mugGet the Crumpet Trumpetmug.

anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014
mugGet the anal crumpetmug.

Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008
mugGet the Bloody Crumpetmug.

Cock Crumpet

I haven’t seen him all weekend. He’s got a new bit of Cock crumpet.
by Petunia Fortunia March 5, 2022
mugGet the Cock Crumpetmug.

Gravy Crumpet

A sexual act - rimming someone with explosive diarrhoea.
Oh man, I was with Joe last night, we drank Moviprep and gave each other the Gravy Crumpet. Best night I've ever had.
by Legandor January 8, 2022
mugGet the Gravy Crumpetmug.

Crumpet sucker

A derogatory term used to describe the British, as they love their crumpets.
American: "Ah, here comes the crumpet sucker!"
by He8i3 May 4, 2022
mugGet the Crumpet suckermug.

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