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Crumpet Muncher

A female of the lesbian persuasion.
Also known as a dyke, lesbo, carpet-muncher, todger dodger, she who licks the honey pot.
Don't bother chatting her up Steve, I heard she's a crumpet muncher.
by HadeK September 11, 2013
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anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014
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Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008
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cheeky crumpet

by Zillion May 14, 2016
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Crumpet Baster

The performer of the art of basting crumpets such there are , were crumpet means snatch or pussy, applied by 'wisking' or gently oscillating fingeritively solids into liquids, thus creating a type of vacuum that no man can escape.
We have a cold newby in this porn scene....we will require our best crumpet baster to liquify the vaginal butter into a softy cream in the shortest amount of time....stat.
by Ball splat November 8, 2019
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Soggy Crumpet

Another male masturbating game similar to soggy biscuit, but much worse as the target is now a crumpet (a much more absorbent vessel). Participants must circle jerk onto the crumpet. Whoever comes first is deemed the winner and the loser must eat the cum-loaded crumpet.
Soggy biscuit? That's nothing, try soggy crumpet!
by yoshi12 October 10, 2014
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Crumpet sucker

A derogatory term used to describe the British, as they love their crumpets.
American: "Ah, here comes the crumpet sucker!"
by He8i3 May 4, 2022
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