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bidet envy

When your peasant friends post memes of you on a bidet because they’re too fucking cheap to experience a kings throne in their own everyday life.
Patrick keeps sending photoshops of Mooch on the toilet. Man that dude has some serious bidet envy.
by Bidet King November 8, 2022
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Brooklyn Bidet

When your girl is taking a shit but you gotta piss, so you lift her legs and piss on her ass so she doesn't have to wipe.
"Since we only have one bathroom Jen and I have to do the Brooklyn bidet sometimes"
by PaPaChyli March 23, 2022
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Manual bidet

When you blast a turd out so fast, the splashback cleans your ass for you.
"Man, I really turned the manual bidet to high last night. Even my thighs got wet!"
by Re:Milkman January 30, 2022
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Blue Bidet

When you drop a turd in a porta potty and the blue liquid splashes up on your butthole.
Don’t worry, I’m clean down there. I hit the blue bidet at work today.
by vgrid February 18, 2022
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Birmingham Bidet

When you poop in a porta potty and you get some of the blue water backsplash on your butt
Steve had Taco Bell and had to poop really bad and saw a porta potty, but ended up going in the woods because he didn’t want to give himself a Birmingham Bidet
by LieutenantDangle August 29, 2021
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Cappuccino Bidet

The act of a self flushing toilet automatically flushing itself before you are done with your bowel movement thus causing your own excriment to splash upwards in a bidet-esque fashion and therefore landing on your backside. Usually experienced in a public restroom.
I was taking a shit, I leaned forward to grab some toilet paper to wipe my ass. Then al of a sudden SWOOSH, Cappuccino Bidet!
by The DJNYC April 8, 2010
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bieber bidet

(V) The surprise splash back of cold water on your sphincter after dropping a large shit, usually before the sphincter can completly close. Involuntary exclamations are said to sound just like Justin Bieber when he sings.
No matter how I aim or pinch it off, I always get a bieber bidet during a big dump.
by seven of ten November 21, 2010
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