Turd burglar

An individual who has the annoying habit of making a scene outside the stall while you’re trying pop a deuce in order to get you to hurry up. Turd Burglars show up typical when you’re in public bathroom in a busy location and someone very impatient shows up and decides to interrupt your shitting session.

>You: answering nature’s call in a public bathroom like a normal person

> Turd burglar: “ Hurry up mister I need to go, I NEED TO GO!!!” X 50 on loop until you finish pushing your slimy turd

Turd burglar by Thicke Henry Richard September 8, 2020

Turd burglar

Its an old superstition about A sneaky lil midget bandit theif in the night that climbs in your bathroom window and burgles the turd right out the bowl that more than likely are there because you got shit faced and forgot to flush or your dirty lazy kids left the bowl present for the turd bandit. Because the story goes.... Feed the turd burglar once a week and you will never get a stomach. Keep that gut flora happy ... Feed the turd burglars.

"Tiny tim dont flush that shit you know you got to leave that for the turd burglar tonight or you will end up with a belly ache

Turd burglar by Ghostbuster2000 February 8, 2021

Turd Burglar

A person who buys, or tries to steal, something that is in a bad state of repair and thinks they will be able to sell it after a minor amount of shoddy work for much more money.

Man I can't tell you how many turd burglars from craiglist are blowing up my phone asking me if they think the car I am selling for parts can be rebuilt and made road worthy.

Turd Burglar by K2xW July 17, 2021

Turd Burglar

A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.

911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”

Turd Burglar by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022

Turd Burglar

One who takes shit or allows themself to be spoken down to by others.

“Poor Jeff, he always allows his boss to talk down to him, poor turd burglar”

Turd Burglar by Sir Francis Argaf June 8, 2022

Turd Burglar

When you need a shit so bad,it needs complete lonesome to let loose the beast, then someone walks in, causing it to be sucked back in like e g g

You are a turd burglar

Turd Burglar by WrittenToe79 June 21, 2022

Turd burglar

A Turd burglar is a mythical being that takes your turds (aka poop) from your toilet at night when everyone is asleep, similar to the tooth fairy legend.

Little boy: Mommy when will the turd burglar come?

Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.

Turd burglar by BeeftGunkle June 20, 2023