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Optical Solution

A response to a problem that appears to solve a problem in order to make the solver(s) look better, but doesn't actually solve a problem.
The new system increased the graduation rate to 100%. (This is an optical solution because they lowered the lowered the standards to pass, now the school looks better).
Our planes always land on time. (This is an optical solution because they added an hour to the time of flight, so the airline looks better).
We are giving you 20% off. (This is an optical solution because they raised the price 40% first, so they look like they are giving people a deal).
The school now has great test scores. (This is an optical solution because they make the exam optional, and the high scoring kids take it. Now the school looks good).
by eduwarrior January 24, 2023
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The optical illusion

Getting a handy from a midget while wearing horse-blinders so that all you can see is a pair of tiny hands on your junk making your junk look huge.
I've waited my whole life to get the optical illusion, and it made me feel great!
by Dump truck January 2, 2017
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fiber optic cable

a way to express your love for someone. basically another word for i love you.
'fiber optic cable, bro."

"i fiber optic cable you too."
by amy is basically hajime November 21, 2023
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Optical Rectumitis

Optical Rectumitis is a neurosis resulting from having a brain fill so full of shit from institutionalized false authorities and first principles that the person is blinded to objective reality. Differs from Recto-cranial Inversion, or head-up-ass disease in that Optical Rectumitis sufferers are sucking new shit daily, while the rectocranial inverted people are hiding from new shit in old shit. Libtards tend toward optical rectumitis while conservatards tend toward rectocranial inversion.
Elon Musk's Optical Rectumitis is so severe, he thinks he can build a space port on 2000 feet of mud in a hurricane prone river delta and get to Mars by 2030 with a spacecraft that has suffered several "unscheduled disintegrations", two in 2025 alone.
by Whistle Blower0013 May 14, 2025
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psycho-optic

I'm so PSYCHO-OPTIC I could see that dude was gonna eat his cat with beans and rice.
by Hotel 6 December 20, 2016
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Optic fondue pot

An optic fondue pot is when a male partner shits into an eye socket and skull fucks it.
Hey girl, want me to give you an optic fondue pot?
by beans and bullshit April 29, 2022
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Fibre-Optic Cable Core

The art of repeating a particular part of a sentence or phrase for comedic value.

Often, you can misspell it for extra comedic value.
an example of Fibre-Optic Cable Core:

‘hello everybody my name is markiplier
‘market plier’
by iJustWannaGoZzzzzz January 6, 2024
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