Crumpet Muncher

A female of the lesbian persuasion.
Also known as a dyke, lesbo, carpet-muncher, todger dodger, she who licks the honey pot.
Don't bother chatting her up Steve, I heard she's a crumpet muncher.
by HadeK September 11, 2013
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anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 06, 2014
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Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 May 31, 2008
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Crumpet buttering

The act of ruining one's day exponentially and causing them anguish. Usually by denying a privilege or breaking a personal item. Sometimes just being a general annoyance to someone.
"That really was a crumpet buttering you gave him earlier."
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cheeky crumpet

I'd love to eat that cheeky crumpet
by Zillion May 08, 2016
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gourmet crumpet

A nice “bit of crumpet” who is gourmet in her sexual flexiblitly: in particular, receiving pleasure by watching and facilitating her man in to a ménage a trois. And/or is orally fixated.
.oh Mella ..shes amazing and loves watching me fuck other girls and joining in just at the right moment to get us all to cum at the same time... she really is Gourmet Crumpet.
by Oblique Geek January 12, 2018
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Crumpet sucker

A derogatory term used to describe the British, as they love their crumpets.
American: "Ah, here comes the crumpet sucker!"
by He8i3 May 04, 2022
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