Crumpet Muncher

A female of the lesbian persuasion.
Also known as a dyke, lesbo, carpet-muncher, todger dodger, she who licks the honey pot.

Don't bother chatting her up Steve, I heard she's a crumpet muncher.

by HadeK September 11, 2013

anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.

"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.

by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014

Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.

Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?

by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008

cheeky crumpet

Tight pussy. Nice vagina

I'd love to eat that cheeky crumpet

by Zillion May 14, 2016

Crumpet buttering

The act of ruining one's day exponentially and causing them anguish. Usually by denying a privilege or breaking a personal item. Sometimes just being a general annoyance to someone.

"That really was a crumpet buttering you gave him earlier."

by Trauchen Voodenschtampfern 3rd March 29, 2020

slut crumpet

A british whore

Guy 1: My mom's in the hospital because of the sex.
Guy 2: She's such a slut crumpet.

by Jhintop April 24, 2019

Crumpet sucker

A derogatory term used to describe the British, as they love their crumpets.

American: "Ah, here comes the crumpet sucker!"

by He8i3 May 4, 2022