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Crumpet Trumpet

A man who becomes sexually aroused while giving a woman oral sex;

often sought by legions of college females
A: Oh, he's in a Ska band, what does he play?

B: Let's just say he's a Crumpet Trumpet.

A: Mandy's gonna want his number..
by brookeybby December 1, 2010
mugGet the Crumpet Trumpetmug.

anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014
mugGet the anal crumpetmug.

Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008
mugGet the Bloody Crumpetmug.

Crumpet Baster

The performer of the art of basting crumpets such there are , were crumpet means snatch or pussy, applied by 'wisking' or gently oscillating fingeritively solids into liquids, thus creating a type of vacuum that no man can escape.
We have a cold newby in this porn scene....we will require our best crumpet baster to liquify the vaginal butter into a softy cream in the shortest amount of time....stat.
by Ball splat November 8, 2019
mugGet the Crumpet Bastermug.

Crumpet buttering

The act of ruining one's day exponentially and causing them anguish. Usually by denying a privilege or breaking a personal item. Sometimes just being a general annoyance to someone.
"That really was a crumpet buttering you gave him earlier."
mugGet the Crumpet butteringmug.

cheeky crumpet

by Zillion May 14, 2016
mugGet the cheeky crumpetmug.

slut crumpet

Guy 1: My mom's in the hospital because of the sex.
Guy 2: She's such a slut crumpet.
by Jhintop April 24, 2019
mugGet the slut crumpetmug.

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