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Crumpet Muncher

A female of the lesbian persuasion.
Also known as a dyke, lesbo, carpet-muncher, todger dodger, she who licks the honey pot.
Don't bother chatting her up Steve, I heard she's a crumpet muncher.
by HadeK September 11, 2013
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anal crumpet

The anal crumpet is an individual whose morals have collapsed into the rectum and much like hemorrhoids, they are painful to be around. This is an individual who is despicable and irrefutably nasty and has a history of being a player or attempting to be a player. The anal crumpet has no morals or is morally ambiguous, making them extremely unattractive or otherwise creepy.

A crumpet is a type of unsweetened bread usually served with tea. It is also often used in British slang to describe a woman who is sexually attractive. An anal crumpet is the exact opposite of the latter.
"My ex-husband cheated on me and lied about it! What an anal crumpet!"

"I just got hit on by this really creepy guy.
by That Crazy Hermit Writer July 5, 2014
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Bloody Crumpet

When you give a girl oral when she's on her period.
Guy 1: Damn, I had to give my girl head last night, but she's on her period!
Guy 2: So it was a bloody crumpet?
by cityondown123426 June 2, 2008
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slut crumpet

Guy 1: My mom's in the hospital because of the sex.
Guy 2: She's such a slut crumpet.
by Jhintop April 24, 2019
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Gravy Crumpet

A sexual act - rimming someone with explosive diarrhoea.
Oh man, I was with Joe last night, we drank Moviprep and gave each other the Gravy Crumpet. Best night I've ever had.
by Legandor January 8, 2022
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Cock Crumpet

I haven’t seen him all weekend. He’s got a new bit of Cock crumpet.
by Petunia Fortunia March 5, 2022
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