Imagine a game of soccer.
Now take the following steps to reduce the skill as much as possible;
1) Remove the crossbar, so the ball can be kicked 10 meters over the opponents heads and still be a goal.
2) Reward the players with 1/6th of a goal for missing the target.
3) Remove the offside rule, so the forwards literally just stand around in front of their oppositions' goal and wait for someone to kick the ball to them.
4) Allow players to use their hands to catch and punch the ball.
5) Carrying on from point 4), give a player a free kick every time they catch the ball.
6) Change the shape of the ball so that it can travel further when kicked. This will help reduce the amount of passing ( = teamwork) needed to get the ball from one end of the field to another.
7) Remove all strategy. Make supporters so dumb that they actually *complain* when teams employ basic tactics such as flooding the defence, holding up the ball to look for a decent pass and running the clock down while keeping possession at the end of a match.
Now add some silly and fairly arbitary rules such as;
1) It is against the rules to push a player in the back, but it is allowed to run in from behind him, jump up, stick your knees into his back and catch the ball.
2) If you tackle (= bear hug & throw to the ground) a player, you get a free kick. Unless the umpire decides the tackled player did not have a chance to get rid of the ball before/while he was being tackled, in that case the umpire will bounce the ball instead. Unless in the course of the tackle you pushed him in the back - in that case he gets the free kick. Understand?
There you go, that is Australian Rules Football.
Now take the following steps to reduce the skill as much as possible;
1) Remove the crossbar, so the ball can be kicked 10 meters over the opponents heads and still be a goal.
2) Reward the players with 1/6th of a goal for missing the target.
3) Remove the offside rule, so the forwards literally just stand around in front of their oppositions' goal and wait for someone to kick the ball to them.
4) Allow players to use their hands to catch and punch the ball.
5) Carrying on from point 4), give a player a free kick every time they catch the ball.
6) Change the shape of the ball so that it can travel further when kicked. This will help reduce the amount of passing ( = teamwork) needed to get the ball from one end of the field to another.
7) Remove all strategy. Make supporters so dumb that they actually *complain* when teams employ basic tactics such as flooding the defence, holding up the ball to look for a decent pass and running the clock down while keeping possession at the end of a match.
Now add some silly and fairly arbitary rules such as;
1) It is against the rules to push a player in the back, but it is allowed to run in from behind him, jump up, stick your knees into his back and catch the ball.
2) If you tackle (= bear hug & throw to the ground) a player, you get a free kick. Unless the umpire decides the tackled player did not have a chance to get rid of the ball before/while he was being tackled, in that case the umpire will bounce the ball instead. Unless in the course of the tackle you pushed him in the back - in that case he gets the free kick. Understand?
There you go, that is Australian Rules Football.
by Petszk October 19, 2005
Get the Australian Rules football mug.australian rules football can be described as the most skilless and effiminate form of football. Supporters are Australian possessing an IQ well below the requirements for basic shoe lace tying. Supporters are easily brainwashed by the AFL into thinknig that the sport is the most skillfull and physically tough sports around. In reality it possesses none of the skills and fancy footwork used in football, none of the physical strength toughness and fast hands needed for both forms of rugby.
Game is best described as: a bunch of sweaty blokes humping each other to the ground to get a touch of the oppositions arse and balls.
Game is best described as: a bunch of sweaty blokes humping each other to the ground to get a touch of the oppositions arse and balls.
australian rules football= winter training for cricket
Tool: Bro lets watch a game of footy.
Real Auuseie: Fu.ck of back to melbourne you poof!
Tool: Bro lets watch a game of footy.
Real Auuseie: Fu.ck of back to melbourne you poof!
by muzza_#1 November 10, 2005
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Get the Australian Accent mug.this is when you awaken your significant other by shoving your thumb in her ass, while yelling common Australian catch phrases. "G'day Mate!" and "I just shoved my shrimp in your Bar-B!" are the most common.
by georgelopez October 22, 2008
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Australians have been stereotyped as a lazy, kangaroo riding, annoying group with crappy accents. NOT TRUE!
But we dont care if people take the piss out of us. People are lining up to come in, that must mean something!
Australians have been stereotyped as a lazy, kangaroo riding, annoying group with crappy accents. NOT TRUE!
But we dont care if people take the piss out of us. People are lining up to come in, that must mean something!
by Quokka September 5, 2005
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