Jesus

The man who works at the local car wash.

"Jesus, last time I got my car back I found a white stain in the back seat."

by Maggylyn April 22, 2007

Jesus

The most famous cult leader in the history of the world. Led billions of people (alive or dead) to believe in the largest scam of all time. He was nailed to a piece of wood merely because crucifiction was extremely popular back then and because he was persecuted for seemingly impossible ideals. The bible is no more real than Lord of the Rings or Star Trek.

Jesus: I am the son of God.
Weak-minded peon: Yay! people must hear the word of God and accept a false prophecy that the world was created by something we have no proof of except for a story book!

by Alex Z: The Real God (or i might as well be) September 16, 2006

jesus tits

A exclamation of pain,joy,ect.

Jesus tits i stubbed my toe.
Jesus tits thats an awesome purse.

by Klaireabell October 23, 2007

Baby Jesus Fecal Matter

The feeling one gets from eating too much sweet and sour chicken. The person feels like they have to give birth to "the baby Jesus" in fecal form.

"Man, after that Chinese I need to give birth to baby Jesus fecal matter."

by Sweaty Balls and the Rickist April 5, 2010

jesus x

Remember: Whenever we say "Christmas," Christ always comes first. And whenever we say "X-mas," X comes first. Not many people know that Jesus Christ's real name is "Jesus Little." He changed His name to "Jesus X" to show that He was His own person and didn't need the white man's slave name... He was His own man. Which explains the meaning behind X-mas. It's just short for "X-Man's." Because the X-Men had superpowers... just like Jesus.

jesus x, praise be unto him, he can shoot l.a.s.e.r. beams out of his eyes.

by jimomaha April 7, 2008

Jesus

The Son of God, The Lion of Judah, The Prince of Peace, True Vine, The Way, The Truth, The Light, The Door, The Savior of Mankind.

I love Jesus Christ the Son of God!!!

by The Josh September 22, 2004