Jesus's fuck thang

The organ that Jesus used to fuck all those bitches. That's why there are so many Christians in the world.

Jesus wipped out Jesus's fuck thang so much, even the son of god got chaffed.

by Big Baby Jesus October 1, 2004

jesus birthday sex

An excuse to do the dirty on christmas day. May be used to avoid the wrath of God for sinning on his son's birthday.

John: Are you free tonight? I need a little christmas lovin, if you know what I mean...

Jane: I'm not sure God would ever forgive me.

John: Don't worry, it's jesus birthday sex. He'll take it as a compliment that we are celebrating His birth.

Jane: Ok! Let's do it!

by Jbislollipop23 December 26, 2009

Jesus Freak

Someone who is SO obsessed with Jesus, they will never see anything ever wrong with him, always love him. They will pressure you (annoyingly) about it constantly until you run away screaming.

Gotta kill them all!
Jesus freak: "God is real to you you shouldn't be fake to god he loves you."
John: "What? I was just standing here."
Jesus Freak: "God loves you."
John: "I'm not even religious!"
Jesus Freak: "You should be, Jesus loves you and is deep inside you soul."
John: "AHH SHUT THE HELL UP! YOUR CRAZY!" *runs away*
Jesus Freak: "He's going to hell :("

by annoyedbyjesusfreaks July 13, 2011

Jesus

A fictional character created by a cult that developed into Christianity. Jesus is now falsely thought to have existed and some even think he was the son of god... and god.. at the same time. There is no historical evidence, writings or anything about Jesus during the time he supposedly lived. No accounts of Jesus were written until decades after he supposedly ascended into heaven. 30 or more years passed before he was written about, which was about the average life span back then. So how did a whole new generation write about something they didn't even witness for themselves? Don't you think some people would write about Jesus WHILE he was performing these miracles? Mithras Dionysus share VERY similar stories with Jesus and had cults like Christianity. You should not believe anything you’ve just read, but look up the evidence facts, and decide for yourself. Luigi Cascioli has accused the catholic church of falsely saying Jesus existed. They will have to present evidence that he did. If they cannot accomplish this they will no longer be able to say Jesus existed as a fact in Italy. This should be a fairly large blow to christianity.

Follow Jesus or you will burn in hell forever! jk he isn't even real lol.

by FreeThinker2007 August 21, 2007

Jesus

One of the good guys.

Apparantly Jesus saves people like Spider-man.

by Flealan July 18, 2006

Jesus

Mythological Goalkeeper from Nazareth; he probably reached his peak around 27/28 AD.

Jesus saves! ..... Passes to Moses! ...... GOOOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!

by Kenneeeeee January 24, 2008

jesus shitting christ

noun;adjective:
a term used when something is incredibly fucking supprising or when some one or something is:
A.Fucking Retarded
B.Smells like shit
C. or is stoned OFF THEIR ASSES, rolling, or tripping and did or said something incredibly memorable, rediculous, funny, smart.ect.

"Jesus shitting christ! I´m tripping so hard, that i saw the tree from Pochahontas!"

"Jesus shitting christ! did you eat a fucking corpse?"

"Britney was really a virgin all that time? Jesus shitting christ."

by KeViN (nwapsnatas666) September 6, 2006