Cracker Barrel Baptism

An oral foreplay move where one deliciously delivers a flow of vomit over a mildly erect penis to cleanse it of it’s previous poundings.

Tip: You turn it into an exorcism by consuming liberal amounts of Nashville Hot Chicken prior to preforming the move.

Q: Hunny you’ve been hound pounding the dog again so you know where gonna have to do a cleansing.

A: Oh no. My balls. They are filled with sin.

Q: Alright. It’s time for your Cracker Barrel Baptism.

by EmœÆntħøny February 21, 2024

anal baptism

When you pour holy water down someone’s ass and they fart it onto a baby

Bro are you going to the anal baptism tomorrow?
Nahhh, I got mine regular baptized

by Slurp_slurp69 December 03, 2020

Brown Baptism

when someone gets dunked into a bucket of shit, specifically diarrhea.

guy 1: why wasnt judy at school today?
guy 2: jack gave her a brown baptism and now shes in the hospital and smells like shit
guy 1: haha, dumbass!

by professional racist123 December 06, 2023

Traditional Mexican Baptism

When a woman inadvertently gives birth directly into a seldom-emptied, diarrhea-splattered porta potty.

Joaquin is messed up in the head. Probably has to do with the fact that he received a Traditional Mexican Baptism when he was born.

by MinMax123 July 12, 2022

Chicago baptism

To spill a portion of Jeppson’s Malört accidentally over an infants head while drinking.

Gave my nephew a Chicago Baptism last weekend and was asked to leave the party

by MdoubleT December 26, 2023

chicago baptism

Walking in the door and getting hit in the head with a fairly large dildo.

I loved Ebon’s story of his Chicago Baptism, as told on Late Night with Seth Meyers on June 19th 2024.

by ms2023 June 21, 2024

Chicago Baptism

To accidentally sit in a seat, wet with SOMETHING, on the CTA. Do it once, and you’ll never do it again.

There was one seat open on the red line, and before anyone could warn me, I got my Chicago Baptism.

by Chicago Zym June 27, 2024