The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
by SteeringWheelFaceReveal June 12, 2023
Get the Santa Claus mug.The exact opposite of Santa Claus. He is rumored to live in Antarctica with a troup of midget gypsies and every Christmas eve he flies his magical moose-drawn Volkswagen Beatle to the homes of all the naughty children. He quietly breaks in through the front door and steals all the presents from under the Christmas tree, which he then sells on eBay to fund his drinking and online poker habits.
1>Hey dude what did you get for Christmas?!
2>F*cking nothing! Reverse Santa Claus broke into my house again and stole everything! He even shot my cat!
1>That f*cking sucks man.
2>He even took a shit in my microwave and set it to 99 minutes and 99 seconds!
2>F*cking nothing! Reverse Santa Claus broke into my house again and stole everything! He even shot my cat!
1>That f*cking sucks man.
2>He even took a shit in my microwave and set it to 99 minutes and 99 seconds!
by Kris Krang-ang-le May 9, 2013
Get the Reverse Santa Claus mug.The clauses which detail Kris Kringle under the North Pole Act of 1436.
Clause 1, Subsection A states that: Saint Nicholas must manufacture a wide variety of games, tools, and miscellaneous objects for children under the age of 12 in all countries of the world.
Clause 1, Subsection B states that: Saint Nicholas must do so for eternity, without pay, and must aquire the following traits: Obesity, A long white beard, a red suit, a fondness for burnt cookies and warm milk.
Clause 1, Subsection A states that: Saint Nicholas must manufacture a wide variety of games, tools, and miscellaneous objects for children under the age of 12 in all countries of the world.
Clause 1, Subsection B states that: Saint Nicholas must do so for eternity, without pay, and must aquire the following traits: Obesity, A long white beard, a red suit, a fondness for burnt cookies and warm milk.
Evil Little Boy: "Where are my presents?"
Mom: "You were naughty this year, so Santa didn't bring you any."
Evil Little Boy: "Na-uh! According to Clause 1, Subsection A and B, of the Santa Clauses, Santa is required to bring me my demanded presents!"
Mom: "You were naughty this year, so Santa didn't bring you any."
Evil Little Boy: "Na-uh! According to Clause 1, Subsection A and B, of the Santa Clauses, Santa is required to bring me my demanded presents!"
by Assasinof6 March 11, 2010
Get the The Santa Clauses mug.This is a pussy that is not only plump, but has that buoyancy that can only be compared to our friend Saint Nick. It is the type of pussy that not only satisfies the mind, body and soul, but even gives a sense of hope for a brighter future.
by lincolnshire June 17, 2021
Get the pussy phat like Santa Claus mug.A seasonal position for intercourse in which the male sits upright in a chair, and female sits on his lap, facing him. Behavior of said female during preceding year (e.g. naughty/nice) is of little to no significance. Large breasts preferred.
The fly cougar who works at the Mexican restaurant wrote on my napkin, "I want to smash...reverse santa claus style, por favor."
by burningpeepeeracing March 19, 2014
Get the Reverse Santa Claus mug.Most likely a mythical modern retelling of a mystic group of hallucinogenic mushroom-eating Siberian shaman who wore red and white outfits, snuck in through the chimneys of villagers and distributed the sacred mushroom Amanita Muscaria. Other associations from the popular myth easily fall into place. The reindeer is the animal most associated with Amanita as it is a popular dish to them. Amanita tends to form a symbotic relationship with spruce or pine trees which are used for Christmas trees. It is also said that the Siberian shaman could fly, but probably not physically. However, Amanita often gives the sensation of flying.
by Requiett September 6, 2005
Get the santa claus mug.Evil robot who terrorizes the citizens of New New York every X-mas Eve, because he judges everyone to be naughty. He throws grenades that look like X-mas tree ornaments and shot a TOW missile at Fry and Leela when he caught them under mistletoe. One time, he got frozen in the ice of Neptune due to the exhaust from the Planet Express ship melting the ice and it refroze. Bender then had to take his place that X-mas eve.
Amy: "You can't stay out on X-Mas eve, you'll be killed!"
Fry: "Say what?"
Farnsworth: "Good lord! he doesn't know about Santa Claus."
Fry: "Say what?"
Farnsworth: "Good lord! he doesn't know about Santa Claus."
by MontgomeryGator February 6, 2007
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