Lonely Sailor

When one sits on HIS hand until it has fallen asleep and masturbate and feels like someone else is doing it.

I've got no plans, I think I'm just going to be a Lonely Sailor tonight.

by patrick and ryan January 22, 2008

lonely salad

When a person of either sex penatrates one or more bodily orifices with penis shaped fruits and/or vegetables. Initiated due to overwhelming loneliness.

Hey bro, I'm almost positive Paige made a lonely salad today, or she just has a really good vibrator.
(or)
Clay: Maegan what do you do when your boyfriends not around?
Maegan: I just make lonely salad.

by cpatrickc August 24, 2009

Lonely Girl Hours

When a girl is lonely for a period of time. It can be because they claim to have no friends or they just really need a boyfriend/girlfriend. Lonely girl hours is like said boi hours, but can happen at any time.

Honestly, I don't even think this is a real thing, me and my friends just kinda came up with it :)
When you're in your lonely girl hours you generally end up venting to your friends, holding their hand, and watching cute couple videos on Instagram. You also end up listening to the slowed version of "Formidable" by Stromae. Or anything depressing tbh.

"It's lonely girl hours."
"It's always lonely girl hours."
"I know. I need a boyfriend."

:)

by iz:) October 14, 2018

Lonely Sandwich

Masturbating by putting your penis between the mattress and the box-spring.

"Oh like when you put it between the mattress and the box-spring? That's called the lonely sandwich" - You Look Nice Today: The Magic Number -

by terriakki chan July 12, 2010

Lonely Nights

When you are alone at night cause you couldn't get laid and you use your tears as lubrication for masturbation.

I had a couple Lonely Nights last week, so now I gotta go to the store and get some Visine.

by Roy Berto May 13, 2012

lonely pirate

when a man ejaculates in his own eye; related to the angry pirate, in which a man ejaculates in his partner's eye after oral sex and proceeds to kick his partner in the shin, causing him/her to jump up and down with one eye closed.

"Last night, I hired a hooker and gave her an angry pirate!"

"Oh. Well, I was masturbating and ended up doing the lonely pirate."

"You're a pussy."

by Melissanthrope March 1, 2010

Lonely Receptionist Syndrome

Work-induced ailment caused by understimulation of the intellect and excessive internet access. Symptoms include frantic e-mails nobody cares about; knowledge of your 3rd grade best friend's Facebook status at all time; and carpal tunnel syndrome.

Cures include getting a better job.

Today I sent my ex-boyfriend six e-mails within twenty minutes asking why he didn't respond to my previous e-mail, from 10 minutes earlier. Had zero answers after 35 minutes, which is unacceptable. Then I posted 5 Facebook statuses about how I felt. My psychosis is obviously a symptom of Lonely Receptionist Syndrome.

by AssistantExtraordinaire February 21, 2011