KEGS Nuneaton is in a fierce battle with North Warwickshire College on two fronts. The first being the race to produce the highest number of Marxists to be sent out into the wider Nuneaton area. The second being the race to produce the highest net output of vape fumes in Warwickshire. Both colleges have been so successful in this quest that both of their smoking areas have been granted protected status by the Association of English Vapers. What sets KEGS Nuneaton above North Warwickshire college, though, is the ability of its students to 'infect' Nuneaton with these traits. Whereas the sole requirement of North Warwickshire college when it was granted planning permission was to build it as far away from public amenities as possible, KEGS Nuneaton escaped that restriction and was allowed to be built just 500 yards from the infamous Nuneaton town centre. As a result of this, Nuneaton town centre resembles the sky above a coal factory chimney with the levels of vape fumes emitted at lunchtimes when KEGS' students swarm the town in search of either a Greggs steak bake or a McDonalds double cheeseburger, both much-loved food items amongst Nuneatonians. The fume situation has become so bad that Nuneaton Council have been forced to install specialist air quality control systems, manned by designated 'Vape Wardens', tasked with preventing an excessive proportion of vapes being used in within the perimeter of McDonalds and Greggs respectively.
*bus pulls up*
Driver: "Where you off to?"
Student: "KEGS Nuneaton please."
Driver: *activates vape addict alert system*
*vape addict alert system blares*
*Vape Warden Mobile Deployment vehicle pulls up*
Vape Wardens: (in unison) "Empty your pockets!"
*student drops vape on floor*
*student is shot.*
Driver: "Where you off to?"
Student: "KEGS Nuneaton please."
Driver: *activates vape addict alert system*
*vape addict alert system blares*
*Vape Warden Mobile Deployment vehicle pulls up*
Vape Wardens: (in unison) "Empty your pockets!"
*student drops vape on floor*
*student is shot.*
by Suntan Dave November 9, 2023
Get the KEGS Nuneaton mug.Keg tossing is a sport that involves the heaving of a standard 15.5 gallon beer keg. Most people would refer to this type of keg as a "half-keg" or "half-barrel." The keg must be completely emptied before it should be tossed to avoid injuries. There are many different types of keg tossing, as it is practiced throughout the world. In Ireland, the keg is typically thrown upwards and the height of the toss determines the winner.
The newest way to toss a keg combines techniques of both the discus and hammer throw. This updated form of keg tossing does not require the athlete to toss the keg high, rather they are required to try to throw it the farthest distance. Athletes are given three attempts to throw the keg and the winner is determined by measuring the distance tossed. The one who throws the keg the furthest wins.
The basic technique for tossing the keg involves swinging the keg in a pendulum like manner and releasing the keg when it is at its summit. A more experienced athlete uses a spin method similar to a hammer throw. The keg is again released when it is at its summit, allowing for the maximum distance. The event of keg tossing is also in the World’s Strongest Man competition. Men toss kegs that get increasingly heavier over a tall wall.
It's very easy to obtain an empty keg. Go to a liquor store, buy a keg, invite some friends over, drink all the beer, wake up in the morning with a hangover, a strange guy sleeping in your bed, and an empty keg! Or you can just go to a liquor store and ask if you can have one of their empty kegs. Most will just look at you funny and give you the keg. Some may charge you a couple of bucks for them. It's that simple.
The newest way to toss a keg combines techniques of both the discus and hammer throw. This updated form of keg tossing does not require the athlete to toss the keg high, rather they are required to try to throw it the farthest distance. Athletes are given three attempts to throw the keg and the winner is determined by measuring the distance tossed. The one who throws the keg the furthest wins.
The basic technique for tossing the keg involves swinging the keg in a pendulum like manner and releasing the keg when it is at its summit. A more experienced athlete uses a spin method similar to a hammer throw. The keg is again released when it is at its summit, allowing for the maximum distance. The event of keg tossing is also in the World’s Strongest Man competition. Men toss kegs that get increasingly heavier over a tall wall.
It's very easy to obtain an empty keg. Go to a liquor store, buy a keg, invite some friends over, drink all the beer, wake up in the morning with a hangover, a strange guy sleeping in your bed, and an empty keg! Or you can just go to a liquor store and ask if you can have one of their empty kegs. Most will just look at you funny and give you the keg. Some may charge you a couple of bucks for them. It's that simple.
by Tallyjfklfaskjldf August 25, 2008
Get the keg tossing mug.The act of doing a handstand on a keg while guzzling down a mass amount of said keg's contents through its hose-like dispenser. There is a common myth that by being positioned upside-down during the consumption of beer, the alcohol will reach the brain more quickly (this is anatomically possible given that the beer must reach the stomach first). The person performing such an act is typically physically supported by many intoxicated friends.
I just did a keg stand and now I'm horribly drunk.
I tried to hold my hands in place during the keg stand, but I got some beer up my nose, so my hands slipped and I very nearly injured myself.
I tried to hold my hands in place during the keg stand, but I got some beer up my nose, so my hands slipped and I very nearly injured myself.
by Anonymous February 14, 2004
Get the keg stand mug.by kokakolakid May 12, 2006
Get the Tapping the Keg mug.A small store that may sell beer, wine, chips, penny candy, and other usually small items. Similar to the stores that you might find at a gas station, a convenience store, or maybe a 7 Eleven, but usually tucked away within a neighborhood and not as well stocked.
by ButchGibson.com January 24, 2006
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Get the keg pants mug.by OwieOwieOwieOOO June 29, 2007
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