Carpenter's Revenge

The act of forcibly inserting a hammer into the anus of an opponent. In optimal conditions, the blunt end and nail-extraction apparatus will both achieve penetration, however, any portion of the hammer enterring the rectum is sufficient. At this point, the executor of the Carpenter's Revenge will procede to rotate the hammer in a circular motion, inflicting serious damage (and/or pleasure) to the anal walls.

1. Holy shit! Bob the Builder went to town on Pedro's anus with the Carpenter's Revenge.
2. Oh my God! Jesus is back, and he's executing the Carpenter's Revenge on the anus of humanity.

by Keegan K August 23, 2007

x-box (hernia creater)

A games console that takes 4 delivery men to deliver to your house because it is so big and heavy. Also you have to build an extention on your home for it to fit in.

''I wanna play on my x-box whilst i recover from my hernia operation but i have no house to play it in''

by kinney2-k-4eva November 6, 2004

carpenter job

when you get a rusty nail full of tetanus and cram it down your urethra with a hammer.

dude, i just gave myself the most gnarly carpenter job over with a sledge-hammer.

by reidilydeidily March 24, 2010

Carpenters Bukkake

Stemming from ancient Nordic boatbuilding times, this traditional hazing ritual has been rebirthed in the extended modern woodworking community and is still revered as a right of passage in this noblest of trades

An appreciative apprentice kneels within a standing circle of their peers, where as a true sign of respect, proceed to masturbate furiously over the face of "the chosen one".

Once the youngling has been supremely coated, this is directly followed by a large battering of sawdust to aid the curing process.

An important step is to have Rick Astley play in the background.

The pupil now becomes the plastered master

A-Boy: The new guys really coming into his own, how long has he been here for?
B-Boy: I remember his first day, has to be about three years now
C-Boy: Oh boy, looks like he's prime for a Carpenters Bukkake, I'll grab the lube and dust
A-Boy: (singing) never gonna, never gonna, never gonna...
B-Boy: Kneel child, it's time for us to pay our respects
D-Boy: Thanks guys, it's such an honou……(muffled gargle)

by The phantom tanner March 11, 2019

Cambodian Carpenter's Belt

Sexual maneuver whereby the male pulls out just prior to ejaculation, and drains his balls around the woman's waist. He then proceeds to affix lightweight tools that adhere when the payload dries.

Nick: Where'd your hook-up go from last night?
Rick: That bitch was straight blue-collar, so I gave her a Cambodian Carpenter's Belt. I sent that biggums out the door wearing some drill bits and garden twine.

by Gree December 14, 2008

carpenter

the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.

"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"

by stoak May 8, 2010

Cambodian Carpenter's Belt

Sexual maneuver whereby the male pulls out just prior to ejaculation, and drains his balls around the woman's waist. He then proceeds to affix lightweight tools that adhere when the payload dries.

Nick: Where'd your hook-up go from last night?
Rick: That bitch was straight blue-collar, so I gave her a Cambodian Carpenter's Belt. I sent that biggums out the door wearing some drill bits and garden twine.

by Gree December 14, 2008