Facebook Cleansing

When your Newsfeed is spammed with duck faces, horse shit, and anal turd you don't care about from random motherfuckers you want to stab in the face, you commence the act of facebook cleansing. Inspired by Hitler himself, you create a list of individuals you wish to kill and a list of individuals who irritate you to an intolerable degree. Then you go to each one of these individuals walls, leave them the sincere, heartfelt message of "fuck you" and proceed to defriend them. After you have gone through your entire list of victims, you are left with close friends, funny douchebags, random hot chicks you stalk from time to time, and NO annoying, urine gargling, feces eating, child molesting, snot chewing, ass licking, piss drinking, vomit spitting, duck-faced, irritating shitbags you were stupid enough to add in the first place.

And through Facebook Cleansing, you can once again use facebook with leisure.

These motherfucking duck-faced bitches are starting to make me release anal fluids against my will. I'm going to do some facebook cleansing and then burn them alive.

by Boywithadick July 29, 2012

Night Cleanse

To jizz on the face of an unsuspecting victim, usually at night and asleep. Victim will wake up disorientated the next morning with a 'facial cleanse' mask to wash off. They may/may not discover their overnight treatment, so its best if they find out themselves when they look at the mirror.

*Caution* Results may vary. Can also be used with hair to make a Sasquatch, Beardy, or any hair style desired.

Tyler: Man, I just gave Julie a night cleanse last nite.
Shane: I could tell. She looked pissed as shit but her face was glowing like Megan Fox.

by FlamingToast August 8, 2009

acai berry cleanse

Yet another diet craze in the never ending quest to avoid simply eating healthy and exercising, it combines the all natural and recently discovered health benefits of juice from the acai berry (unsold prune juice left over from the 80's) with the effects of receiving no less than 50 spam emails a day on the topic (vomiting from shear disgust) to rid the body of unhealthy toxins (any recently eaten food) and unnecessary weight (water)

Dana: I need to lose that last 5 pounds.

Paul: Have you tried the new acai berry cleanse? It's all natural....like sticking your finger down your throat...but without all the negative connotations that comes with bulimia.

by calihog August 3, 2009

The Master Cleanse Diet

A ridiculous diet made popular by celebs, especially Beyonce after she lost 20 pounds on it. Basically, you eat and drink nothing but lemon maple syrup water for at least ten days. Your body goes into starvation mode and you drop, like, FIFTY BAZILLION POUNDS. The recipe for the master cleanse juice is:

60 ounces of filtered water

12 Tablespoons of organic grade B maple syrup

12 Tablespoons of organic lemon juice

1/2 Teaspoon cayenne pepper powder

I've tried it once. ONCE. Nearly died; I felt as if I would never feel happy ever again (lol dementors)

I dropped about seven to nine pounds in on week, but felt like a living corpse. All I could do to avoid the hunger was sleep. All day. The mere mention of food or dining made me feral.

Pretentious Betch: Oh snap, I can't fit into these size 00 jeans. Time to guzzle some master cleanse!

Logical Size 4 Girl: The master cleanse diet? As in, to cleanse yourself of toxins? You're doing it to cleanse, right?

Pretentious Betch: Suuuuure am!

by soapboxamplifier July 26, 2009

social detox/cleanse

not talking to nor being in contact with ANYONE for a certain amount of time (decided by the detoxer/cleanser)

perosn 1-max hasn’t spoken to me in a while
person2- me neither

person3- me neither maybe he’s on a social detox/cleanse

by Sugaronastick June 27, 2020

Triple Anal Cleanse

Noun: The act of cleansing the anal cavity three times to ensure maximum cleaning. Step one: Insert soapy finger into anus to remove gunk, then rinse. Step two: Insert soapy finger into anus to remove leftover gunk, then rinse. Step three: Insert soapy finger into anus, observe to make sure finger is clean, then rinse. Please note that if the finger is not clean after performing step three, it may be necessary to continue repeating step three until finger shows no traces of brown.

"I don't feel fresh and completely sanitized until I've done my daily triple anal cleanse."

"There's no way my dick is going into your skanky ass until you've a done a triple anal cleanse!"

by J-Wi June 17, 2010

double-springs cleanse

A procedure for cleaning oneself so as to smell extremely good. While in the shower, clean yourself with Irish Springs bar soap, Original Scent. Rinse, and then apply Irish Springs body wash. Rinse. Perform your regular drying procedure...like, with a towel or something. You should end up smelling fresh. Trust me, it works. I'm a doctor.

"Oh, man, you smell great!"
"Thanks! I used the double-springs cleanse."

by Creggle Weggles August 21, 2011