turtle wood

An erection that is so hard, that it defies the hardness of a turtle's shell.

Man, I had such bad turtle wood, even Splinter would be jealous!

by hiziggity April 16, 2004

turtle effect

turtle effect:what happens to male anatomy when it's cold outside

I was chilling outside sportin this wife beater and Samantha called, so I was like "yeah come on over!!". She came over and I pulled my pants down.. she just pointed and laughed then took a picture. Yeah, she dubbed it the turtle effect. I dipped my penis in acid the next day. I am ashamed ._.

by Eriiku March 05, 2007

angry turtle

When you stick heavy shit in a freshman's backpack so he's late to class.

Teacher: Where the hell is Bob?
Alice: The cool seniors gave him the angry turtle again.

by ShutterShadeGroove January 14, 2017

touching the turtle

Female masturbation

Big Texas Hair is sitting in her cubical touching the turtle. I heard her moans and now I want to wash my ears out with bleach.

Your girlfriend looks really happy.
Yeah, we were in the other room, playing touch the turtle.

by happy_turtle July 06, 2010

muddy turtle

The act of wiping the shit off one's anus onto the bottom of their nut sack with toilet paper after defecating.

Michael had to take a bath after committing a muddy turtle.

by Broken Rubber April 27, 2014

turtle sneeze

A turtle kiss gone wrong; when you stradle over someones face and try to give them a turtle kiss, instead sharting all over their face.

That turtle kiss was bad enough, but it ended up turning into a turtle sneeze.

by Alen Shravi January 18, 2010

Turtle boy

A boy who had a turtle on his head that was made out of sharpie and sucks his mouth back in making him look like he doesn't have a mouth. His younger brother who is apparently "bigger in any way" acts like he's the daddy. They also have an older sister who is QUEEN of the family.

Turtle boy has the same amount of hotness as his daddy brother

by Bromieomie🍪 July 12, 2017