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Jersey douche

The act of sweaty-crotched female New Yorkers walking over a subway grate as the train goes by, generating a waft of air up their dress/skirt/shorts that temporarily cools off their crotch.
I smell like a bad tuna sandwich - walk with me over to Canal street so I can grab a quick Jersey douche before the party.
by Fuckchop McGee August 3, 2011
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Douche Bag

One who acts like a asshole and is well awere of it, but feels a false sence of self-justifacation in it due to there delusions of self rightiosness. Bassicly, elietist bastards who flaunt there apperent status, when the status is an example of total bullshit.

When confronted on this they will often point out some trivial flaw in you that dosent matter, changing the subgect.
Anyone who corrects spelling as a form of burn is a total douche bag.
by lagazi July 5, 2007
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Douche Bag

This controversial term dates back to Richard Brome's 1588 comedy 'the Court of Malcontents'

In Act I Scene II, the following takes place:

Don Benedicto: Aha! and from whence hast this bough sprung?
Don Matheus: From the douche, no doubt!
Don Benedicto: The douche. The douche. Ye Gods man!
Tell me from whence hast the douche come ye can
Don Matheus: The douche is borne from yonder douche-bag.
Don Benedicto: Your humour does not humour me, sir. Begone or taste my steel.
Don Matheus: Thou steel be brittle, sir.

This pun is lost on most modern audiences, but in the play leads to Don Matheus and Don Benedicto fighting a duel (during the Edwardian period the word 'steel' would be pronounced very similarly to the word 'still', which then was used to refer to the way in which a mother holds her child. Don Matheus is implying that Don Benedicto's mother was incompetant. Indeed, he even goes as far as to suggest that Don Benedicto was dropped on his head at an early age, insulting both Don Benedicto's honour and intelligence).

'Douche' was a form of the old english word 'Douaché' meaning 'I sow'. It came to mean the seeds which farmers used to grow orchards (often apple orchards particularly). A douche-bag was a sack slung over one shoulder used to carry the 'douche' during sowing.

After this play, douche-bag eventually came to be associated with simpletons or fools (as it is the 'final straw' as it were of Don Matheus' ridicule which causes Don Benedicto to initiate a duel, which he eventually flees from - losing all face and honour as a gentleman).

This Elizabethan insult has in recent years resurfaced, particularly in the Americas, and has rapidly spread across the rest of the world thanks to recent innovations in communication technology.
Don Byrne: Thou is naught but a lowly douche bag.
Don Sampson: I think not sir!
by Professor Aston December 25, 2008
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Douche McFagqueer

A sentient being who is a stupid homosexual. (proper noun)
That Douche McFagqueer we saw at Taco Bell is my biological father.

That group of children over there are a bunch of Douche McFagqueer's, except for that little girl on the end, I made sweet love to her in many positions, mostly derived from the middle-eastern countries.
by My name is of no concern October 14, 2005
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Douche Muffin

1. A rendering of the commonly used slang word, Douche Bag, mostly used without the intent of insulting, but more along the lines of a comical purpose. However, it can be effectively used as an insult.

2. A baked muffin containing vaginal fluids.
1. After spilling the orange juice concentrate all over his new pants, Borus' friend Hogarth comicly called him a "Douche Muffin."

2. The "Douche Muffin" is often considered offensive to women's rights activists, due to it's main ingredient.
by Adam Carey August 23, 2006
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douche musket

1. a term that is applicable when douche nozzle does not accurately describe the person or people in question.
2. an awesome fucking name to call people.
dude1: you see that queaf with his popped collar??
dude2: yeah, what a douche musket.
by vulvahammer November 22, 2009
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dog douche

a fun way of saying dog doo
by andy1 December 3, 2003
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