squirrel jones

the true form of god

squirrel jones is my god

by jammypop April 10, 2017

Peanut the squirrel

An Instagram-famous rodent who achieved legend status for his adorable antics and undeniable charm. Peanut was the kind of squirrel who could make even the grumpiest cat crack a smile. Unfortunately, his fame caught the attention of the infamous Karen, a bureaucratic buzzkill who apparently took her role as the Department of Environmental Conservation's ultimate squirrel hater way too seriously. Instead of letting Peanut continue to spread joy, she swooped in like a villain from a bad movie, snatching him from his loving owner, Mark Longo, under the pretense of “regulations.”

In a move that shocked the world, this Karen decided to euthanize Peanut after a tragic mishap, proving once and for all that she’s the ultimate embodiment of government overreach and soul-sucking indifference. Seriously, Karen, what the hell were you thinking? You could’ve just let the little guy live his best life instead of becoming the Grim Reaper of adorable squirrels. Congratulations on being the world’s biggest party pooper—may your days be as joyless as your choices!

"Man, I can’t believe Karen went full villain mode and decided to be the executioner of Peanut the Squirrel; she really just took the joy out of life for everyone!"

by SqueweFanboy420 November 5, 2024

Squirrel

When you pack your nuts in a chicks mouth and she looks at you with a confused look.

I had this chick squirrel my nuts in her mouth like she was saving them for the winter.

by Squirrel Master 28 August 5, 2017

G Squirrel

To put a squirrel's head in a vagina, and the tail in the women's butt, acting like a g string

Brock did the G Squirrel last night

by Larold1234567 January 19, 2020

ratchet squirrel

A gold digging whore who spends her life hunting for nuts

Hi mate you know that Amber?

absolute ratchet squirrel mate. avoid at all cost.

by RosePearlBanterBoy January 15, 2016

Squirreling

When a guy puts his whole ballsack in a girls vagina.

Squirreling my girl is the best! Just hide my nuts all up in it!

by DrivefastEatass21 November 22, 2019

scared the squirrel

when someone jumps boundaries in a relationship (romantic, sexual, or friendship) prematurely, causing the other person to back away, or, in more extreme cases, leave the relationship altogether. It's the equivalent of holding an acorn in your hand and trying to lure a squirrel out of a tree, then waving your arms wildly in the air and scaring the squirrel back up the tree.

I haven't even met the guy yet, and he's emailing me that it's going to be hard to focus on our dinner because he'll be too busy getting 'lost in my eyes.' There won't be any dinner. He just scared the squirrel.

by Steven Herraiz December 23, 2019