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douche-to-go-bag

Instead of a douche-bag, a douche-to-go-bag is the equivalent of a food douche, a man who feels the need to criticize your food choices, act as a food connoisseur, and claim to know the best places, therefore making him a huge snotty douche.
Jacob was insulting the restaurant I picked, by the end of the night, he was a douche-to-go-bag
by somefunnypersonwhomakesdefinit September 3, 2009
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Douche Dolphin

A Manly douche who hangs out at the beach, and is a lifeguard.
'Todd is such a douche dolphin! He did my girlfriend!"
by ElusiveKangaroo March 13, 2010
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Douche Bag

1. A flexible rubber apparatus used as a reservoir for fluids used to clean the female vagina (see also poontang, quim, etc.) on an unnecessary basis.

2. A conceited male fantasist possessing scant regard for the opinions of others and possessed of a remarkable degree of economy with the truth. Probably thinks he is the shizzler. May be alone in this opinion.
I need a douche 'coz I have a smelly cunt.

I'm a sexually repressed Catholic so I would like a nice douche. May I please borrow your douche bag?

He pretended to graduate from VMI when he is really a Cal U alum. What a douche bag.

Only douches take shop. Only douche bags teach it.

That fucker says he had a Porsche when it was only a kit car. Fucking douche.

Fucking douche bag forgot his own daughter's name and tried hitting on some teenybopper. Turd. No grip on reality. What a fucking douche bag.
by Big Gwynnie March 24, 2010
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douche-knuckle

douche-knuckle: origin - early 2000's fournese; definition - one who acts like a douche bag and a knuckle head simultaneously
mind-tingling, pasta-fucking, nipple-kicking douche-knuckles everywhere!!
by hightechdave April 14, 2010
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douche park

Main Entry: douche park (ˈdüsh pärk)

Function: verb/adj.
Etymology: American (from Anglo-French)

1. To park one's automobile diagonally across two or more parking spaces so as to protect said automobile from door-dings and other threats to it's finish. Usually done with an expensive or ostentatious car or truck.

See also:

gigantic douche park (or "GDP")

1. To park a bus or truck with a long trailer perpendicularly across five or more parking spaces. Usually done in lots where the demand for parking is the highest.
Dude: "Why did you put a 5 foot gouge in my Hummer with that screwdriver?"

Me: "Because you were douche parked. So suck it."
by the virgin marcus July 13, 2010
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Douche Scale

the scale of douches, 1 being really good and 100 being really bad.

1 - 10: Genuinely Nice Guy.

(Sensitive, sweet. 1 - 5 = pure)

11 - 20: Average Guy.

(Most guys in this category. nice, but not super sweet. 15 and under are a bit sensitive.)

21 - 30: Douchemuffin.

(Nice, but still douchey. not annoying.)

31 - 40: Douchemeister.

(annoying, but a little amusing.)

41 - 50: Doucheface.

(tolerable to an extent, a bit more annoying than a Douchemeister.)

51 - 60: Douchebag.

(stereotypical Douchebag, hater.)

61 - 70: Douchemonkey.

(harasser, troll, mild player.)

71 - 80: Douchenozzle.

(messes with girls' emotions, immature, player.)

81 - 90: Douchefaqué. (also pronounced Douchefag.)

(extreme player, intolerant to others that are different sexist, racist, etc.)

91 - 100: Supreme Master Doucheface.

(Abuser. 91 - 93 = emotional abuse. 94 - 97 = physical abuse. 98 - 100 = both.)

Notes:

1 - 50 = tolerable.

51 - 100 = bitchworthy, insensitive.

**Reasons must be provided for any ratings over 60.
She used the Douche Scale to rate him as an 80, a Douchenozzle.
by kitten_taters :) November 3, 2010
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Douche Cake

1 part Douchebag 1 part urinal cake. Generally a step bellow douchebag.
A douchebag would be someone like Tiger Woods, Bono or any of the members of Stone Temple Pilot. A Douche Cake would be someone like Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, Arnold Swarzenegger, or any of the members of Hootie and the Blowfish.
by chinrest October 20, 2011
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