by wobblebeard November 21, 2019
The Story of The Turtle of Life:
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
The Turtle of Life has never been born unto a family of glory and righteousness.
Thus he gave unto himself a gift. This gift was the Pride of the Lions, and what caused the Sadness of the Ravens and the Murder of the Crows. The Murder brought about a new era and the skies were clear for all other birds feared this new gift, especially the seagulls. When the seagulls, learned of their fate and that they had been exiled from the skies they decided to become creatures of earth and thus, transformed into moles. The moles were not pleased by the overcrowding of the earth and thus wished to be Crows. Now moles, living under a rock, didn’t know about the Murder of the Crows, and so they were killed, swiftly and brutally. The Seagulls then realized that turtles’ bellies were weak and they held their bellies up to the warm earth. So the Moles attempted siege of the shelled creatures. The Turtles then pinned the blame on the Turtle of Life who was never there, and they were killed. The Turtle of Life did not come back to save them for he was never there… or was he.
by FSMFan June 13, 2009
When one has very large testicles and or penis, they will have a large bulge in their trousers that can be easily noticed.
by BoatMan May 26, 2015
The act of beating someone who is so slow even though you are incredibly slow yourself. Or is a procrastinator accomplishes a task before another procrastinator.
JPow was the worst procrastinator in the history of the world, but, he still managed to turtle smoke Lei-hi by completing his task of shucking his pile of corn stalks before her. ...thus, Leigha has been turtle smoked...
by LalaGG April 05, 2016
When two consenting adults share in the loving act of pressing their assholes together, while simultaneously shitting. Usually a competitive endeavor, with the winner being the one to be covered in the least amount of the others shit.
by Turtle Wedding June 15, 2022
by Your friend E October 16, 2016
by MrFantastic August 14, 2023