The Alaskan McGuyver is when a man living in cold regions finds it difficult to jack off because his fingers have turned into icicles. He proceeds to put his bottle of lubricant of choice into the microwave at 100 percent power for 45 seconds to achieve a comfortable heat level and consistency for his subsequent jerk off sesh to Eskimo porn.
Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.
Always remember it's 0:45 not 4:50 on the timer and microwave cooking times may vary.
We got the first snow of the year tonight. My hands are so cold I'll have to pull an Alaskan McGuyver before I fire up pornohub.com.
by nancyscrew April 19, 2018
Get the Alaskan McGuyvermug. When you hook a females big toes between yours during sex and use them to thrust by extending your legs.
by WombRaidrr March 19, 2025
Get the Alaskan bull frogmug. by Alaskan Thot January 25, 2019
Get the Alaskan Thotmug. When you piss on someone's pillow, then put it in the freezer and then assault the person whom owned the pillow with their newly frozen treat
The bastard stole my pitching wedge so I gave him an Alaskan Lemonade Stand when I was over last.... He gave it back.
by LeStranger Danger May 7, 2022
Get the Alaskan Lemonade Standmug. A form of foreplay;
(1) When a guy rubs his erection between a woman's Moose Knuckle while motorboating baby-oil covered breasts.
(2) When a same-sex couple performs a double-handjob (also known as skiing) while using Icy-Hot.
(1) When a guy rubs his erection between a woman's Moose Knuckle while motorboating baby-oil covered breasts.
(2) When a same-sex couple performs a double-handjob (also known as skiing) while using Icy-Hot.
She said was waiting until marriage, but she gave me one hell of an Alaskan Tugboat, resulting in quite the oil spill, that she still got pregnant and now I owe her my annual dividend...I mean, child support.
by JaKobraKai June 5, 2021
Get the Alaskan Tugboatmug. When you shit in a condom and freeze it then use it as a dildo, and after that you cover it in cocaine and eat it.
by Kinky addicts. December 22, 2020
Get the Alaskan Snow Dogmug. Crabs and genital warts combined
by 420024 anal June 18, 2018
Get the alaskan king crabsmug.