That one person who has the uncanny ability to partake in douchery but does not exibit all the qualities of a typical douche, leading some people into the illusion that this person is not in fact a douche. In many cases a closet douche is only a douche to guys so oblivious girls think hes a cool guy, adding to the hatred of him. Also, creatine is used by certain closet douches to artificially bulk them up, but everyone knows it just shrinks their ballsack.
guy: "God damn Bob is such a douche"
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."
by DD6969 January 19, 2010
Get the Closet Douchemug. The act of sweaty-crotched female New Yorkers walking over a subway grate as the train goes by, generating a waft of air up their dress/skirt/shorts that temporarily cools off their crotch.
I smell like a bad tuna sandwich - walk with me over to Canal street so I can grab a quick Jersey douche before the party.
by Fuckchop McGee August 3, 2011
Get the Jersey douchemug. A man who has all the inside knowledge of why douche-bags act the way they do. They are capable of helping women, Ex-girlfriends in particular get back at their douche-bag exs. They are rare, in fact almost unheard of. These men are usually attractive nerds and care for the well being of females, hence they get married to the hot ones. If a woman is having trouble with her man or ex. She should seek the advice of these truly unique men.
Morgan- "Why is my ex being a douche bag?
Jennifer- "I don't Know but a douche-whisperer helped me know why my ex was in fact such a douche and what I could do."
Morgan- "sweet give me his digits, then we can watch "Dinner For Schmucks."
Jennifer- "I don't Know but a douche-whisperer helped me know why my ex was in fact such a douche and what I could do."
Morgan- "sweet give me his digits, then we can watch "Dinner For Schmucks."
by Nomyar13 February 20, 2011
Get the douche-whisperermug. pretty much the same thing as a douche bag... you really want to avoid the douche hoagies around the world. They are an unfavorable person therefore being called a douche hoagie is never a good thing.
the term can also be and preferably be shortened to the term "hoagie." calling someone a hoagie is fun and replaces other politically incorrect terms like fag, homo, retard, nigger, bitch, etc.
the term can also be and preferably be shortened to the term "hoagie." calling someone a hoagie is fun and replaces other politically incorrect terms like fag, homo, retard, nigger, bitch, etc.
The guy over in the corner at the John Mayer concert standing alone with a lighter in the air is a real douche hoagie.
The girl that always feels the need to tell me how things are going with her ex boyfriend is a real hoagie.
The girl that always feels the need to tell me how things are going with her ex boyfriend is a real hoagie.
by T.J. Bossington December 18, 2010
Get the douche hoagiemug. (n.)
Insult one typically uses when too flustered to think of or actually pronounce the proper terms of douche fag or douche bag.
Refers to someone who has just pissed you off so monumentally that for lack of better lingual skills this word comes out as your insult.
Insult one typically uses when too flustered to think of or actually pronounce the proper terms of douche fag or douche bag.
Refers to someone who has just pissed you off so monumentally that for lack of better lingual skills this word comes out as your insult.
*Man walks in and goes up to a priceless masterpiece you have been painting for several years and urinates on it. Before ripping him to pieces in blind maniacal rage, you scream out, "You,... you douche cag!!!"
by Fa-Rhino April 10, 2009
Get the douche cagmug. a person who has an overwhelming amount of douchiness. His or her douchiness is much too great for a single bag and the considerable amount in the bucket. This person thinks they're funny when in reality there not. They think that by being proper they're cool, but this really only bumbs there douchiness up a few hundred notches. This may be the highest existing and known stage of douchiness.
Why would you make fun of the way she walks, you do know she has a prosthetic leg, you freak'en douche pool!!!
by V.F Chunk October 17, 2010
Get the douche poolmug. Girl: Hey, how are you?
Guy: It's over bitch.
Girl: What?
Guy: Go raise our kid.
Girl: Your such a douche head!
Guy: Cunt!
Guy: It's over bitch.
Girl: What?
Guy: Go raise our kid.
Girl: Your such a douche head!
Guy: Cunt!
by Dumper-Bumper Bandit September 30, 2009
Get the Douche Headmug.