Puritan’s Pride

The infamous Salem, Massachusetts-based supplier of “natural & organic” foods and supplements that sold moldy aflatoxin-laced grain, the consumption of which caused insanity and paranoia in many of the town’s younger females, leading them to erroneously accuse a number of the harmless elderly women in the area of practicing black magic.

“Puritan’s Pride” is a fitting name for the company that helped to create the Salem witch-trials… those highfalutin closed-minded paranoid Puritans had way too much foolish pride for their own --- and even more importantly, that of those unfortunate elderly wretches whom they falsely convicted of witchcraft –-- good!

by QuacksO September 9, 2018

Chocolate spider

chocolate starfish rusty sheriffs badge anus butthole

My wife had a cracking chocolate spider

by Bobz125 April 29, 2019

Dirty Spiderman

When your fucking it from the back and you blow out her hip and you say the cum will fix your grandmothers hip

Grandma:OH FUCK MY HIP YA BASTARD
You:Grandma hold on you need the Dirty Spiderman

by BIGBOIBOCE April 29, 2019

african spider monkey

Where a man gorillaglues his feet to the ceiling and a woman climbs up him and they 69 whilst they are both violently shitting

Oh shit dawg, me n' my girl were being freaky doin the African Spider Monkey

by D0gm3at August 3, 2019

the spider

ejaculating on one's face while on the roof of a bunk bed

the spider is a sex move lol

by the cooler penguin27 October 8, 2020

One Legged Spider

When a man inserts his penis into a sleeping person's open mouth, and blames any of the victim's side-effects the following morning on spiders.

Jason: "Jeez my throat is sore and dry, I must've slept with my mouth open"

Kyle: "Maybe you ate a spider?"

Jason: "Was it a One Legged Spider? God-dammit that's nasty"

by MOAR!? November 27, 2011

deaf as a spider

Meaning a person isn't paying attention. Similar to- Blind as a bat.

Gah. You're as deaf as a spider!

by Jman71 September 25, 2011