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douche bag

Douche bags are smug, smarmy assholes, who are too pussy to physically be assholes.

Douche bags may pretend to be oblivious to their surroundings, and will respond with a shit eating grin and a phony apology if their wrongdoings are exposed.
"I don't like assholes, but douche bags are the worst."

"Jared may seem like a 'nice guy', but we all know that he is a douche bag."

Cool people = assertive individuals
Assholes = aggressive individuals
Douche bags = passive-aggressive individuals
by capnbarfy October 13, 2011
mugGet the douche bagmug.

Douche Bag

Douche Bag:
1. An object used for vaginal hygiene.
2. A person, usually male, with a variety of negative qualities. Specifically arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and irritating actions.
3. One who doesn't think before he speaks or acts.
4. One with an intolerable personality.
5. One who knows nothing about the subject in which they're talking.
6. One who believes so much in his own misguided convictions that he is oblivious to the fact that they are totally wrong.

7. One who feels the need to push his beliefs or opinions onto other people.
"Who invited this douche bag?"

"I can't believe he said that! What a douche bag"

"Have you met the new guy in accounts? He is a real douche bag!"
by k-bomber September 26, 2012
mugGet the Douche Bagmug.

douche-calade

Someone who possesses enough douchery to evenly share it with 6 or 7 more people, i.e. the number of seats in an Escalade
"Man, Travis is such a douche canoe."
"No way man, he's a full on douche-calade."
by Jackass and Bryguy March 8, 2016
mugGet the douche-calademug.

Douche-Dragon

A person that is a major douche bag and spits their douchiness onto others
Wow Dave is being such a Douche-Dragon today. Douche
by King of Douche January 10, 2014
mugGet the Douche-Dragonmug.

Jersey douche

The act of sweaty-crotched female New Yorkers walking over a subway grate as the train goes by, generating a waft of air up their dress/skirt/shorts that temporarily cools off their crotch.
I smell like a bad tuna sandwich - walk with me over to Canal street so I can grab a quick Jersey douche before the party.
by Fuckchop McGee August 3, 2011
mugGet the Jersey douchemug.

Closet Douche

That one person who has the uncanny ability to partake in douchery but does not exibit all the qualities of a typical douche, leading some people into the illusion that this person is not in fact a douche. In many cases a closet douche is only a douche to guys so oblivious girls think hes a cool guy, adding to the hatred of him. Also, creatine is used by certain closet douches to artificially bulk them up, but everyone knows it just shrinks their ballsack.
guy: "God damn Bob is such a douche"
oblivious girl: "No he's not, he's really a nice guy and he's so muscular."
guy: "No he definatly is, it's just he's just a huge closet douche."
by DD6969 January 19, 2010
mugGet the Closet Douchemug.

douche cag

(n.)

Insult one typically uses when too flustered to think of or actually pronounce the proper terms of douche fag or douche bag.

Refers to someone who has just pissed you off so monumentally that for lack of better lingual skills this word comes out as your insult.
*Man walks in and goes up to a priceless masterpiece you have been painting for several years and urinates on it. Before ripping him to pieces in blind maniacal rage, you scream out, "You,... you douche cag!!!"
by Fa-Rhino April 10, 2009
mugGet the douche cagmug.

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