Desk Douche

any annoying twit at your job or other location that you unfortunately had to interact with. One who is full of him/herself and full of sh*t. (do I even need to add that you're tempted to punch them in the head or is that a given?)

see also: side-kick douche

"omg, I couldn't focus on my work, that annoying desk douche, Derek, was making the rounds and boasting to everyone on how he single-handedly saved the company millions when it was really the contractor that was hired that was responsible for it."

"when the desk douche swings by my desk, his annoying conversations make my brain want to jump out of my skull and run away screaming."

"desk douche thinks that his/her rude, inappropriate jokes are hilarious, but no one else is laughing...no one..."

by sandycan January 7, 2012

Douche Balouche

a jewish warthog

Juan is such a douche balouche!

by JUAN JIMENEZ DOIN IT BIG March 5, 2011

Cock Douche

When a man in question is going through his "menstrual cycle" and is acting like a bitch, in stead of offering him a tampon you can take it one step further and attempt to help him wash out his crap rather than staunching the flow.

"Omg my boyfriend is going through his period I swear!"

"Ye maybe you should offer him a cock douche to clear it all out".

by QT23 March 14, 2011

douche baggins

A really short almost hobbit like douche bag. many people with short man syndrome could be called douche baggins.

friend 1: whats up with geoff today?
friend 2: i know hes being such a douche baggins

by The Dartmouth Kid August 17, 2011

douche bag

Douche bags are smug, smarmy assholes, who are too pussy to physically be assholes.

Douche bags may pretend to be oblivious to their surroundings, and will respond with a shit eating grin and a phony apology if their wrongdoings are exposed.

"I don't like assholes, but douche bags are the worst."

"Jared may seem like a 'nice guy', but we all know that he is a douche bag."

Cool people = assertive individuals
Assholes = aggressive individuals
Douche bags = passive-aggressive individuals

by capnbarfy October 13, 2011

God's Douche

During heavy rain, one spreads their ass cheeks to the sky and douches themself with the rain; using God's tears to clean one's rectum.

I performed a God's douche in the rain storm the other night. It was super sick.

by cootercat03 April 10, 2021

Arctic Douche

Taking a squirty water-bottle outside on a cold day and cleaning your partners minge for her.

That Arctic Douche was going great until I queefed the water all over his face.

by Facecake July 25, 2009