Linux is one of the most powerful contraceptives ever. The more one learns about Linux, the more powerful its fertility-stealing powers become.
Typical Linux users are a sensitive lot. This is because their entire self-esteem is tied up in knowing obscure piping and scripting techniques that nobody in the real world gives a fuck about. Supposedly, this makes them smarter. If a Linux user feels threatened about the coming obsolescence of his beloved OS, untold havoc will be unleashed. This will eventually produce lulz. For this reason, we reveal here the easiest ways to troll a Linux message board or IRC channel.
*If the subject of distros comes up, reply, "Yes, but what can <insert distro name> do that Ubuntu can't do?
*Claim that the Windows kernel design is better than Linux.
*Warn everyone that Mactel will destroy Desktop Linux
*Ask "But can it run BSD?"
*If the subject of CLI comes up, reply, "But you could do that with DOS twenty years ago!"
*Predict that Solaris will eventually destroy Linux
*Make completly baseless claims that you are the CEO of a major corportion (don't specify which one!) and say you see no future in Linux.
*Tell everyone that Linux isn't ready for grandma
*Quote Theo de Raadt
*Remind all Linux users that they are still virgins
*Point out that the BSD License is infinitely superior to the GPL
*Incessantly ask every user about what parts of the code in their kernel were stolen from SCO.
*Let it be known that you appreciate Clippy
*Ask if Wine can run <insert program here> yet.
*Use the phrase "total cost of ownership."
*Ask for advise on finding quality Linux games.
*Say that Linux is inferior for development because it doesn't have Visual Basic .NET
*Make it known that $699 (the fee you legally owe SCO if you use Linux) is $300 more than the price Windows Server 2003 Web Edition, which has more features, greater stability, and has been shown time and time again to have a higher ROI.
Typical Linux users are a sensitive lot. This is because their entire self-esteem is tied up in knowing obscure piping and scripting techniques that nobody in the real world gives a fuck about. Supposedly, this makes them smarter. If a Linux user feels threatened about the coming obsolescence of his beloved OS, untold havoc will be unleashed. This will eventually produce lulz. For this reason, we reveal here the easiest ways to troll a Linux message board or IRC channel.
*If the subject of distros comes up, reply, "Yes, but what can <insert distro name> do that Ubuntu can't do?
*Claim that the Windows kernel design is better than Linux.
*Warn everyone that Mactel will destroy Desktop Linux
*Ask "But can it run BSD?"
*If the subject of CLI comes up, reply, "But you could do that with DOS twenty years ago!"
*Predict that Solaris will eventually destroy Linux
*Make completly baseless claims that you are the CEO of a major corportion (don't specify which one!) and say you see no future in Linux.
*Tell everyone that Linux isn't ready for grandma
*Quote Theo de Raadt
*Remind all Linux users that they are still virgins
*Point out that the BSD License is infinitely superior to the GPL
*Incessantly ask every user about what parts of the code in their kernel were stolen from SCO.
*Let it be known that you appreciate Clippy
*Ask if Wine can run <insert program here> yet.
*Use the phrase "total cost of ownership."
*Ask for advise on finding quality Linux games.
*Say that Linux is inferior for development because it doesn't have Visual Basic .NET
*Make it known that $699 (the fee you legally owe SCO if you use Linux) is $300 more than the price Windows Server 2003 Web Edition, which has more features, greater stability, and has been shown time and time again to have a higher ROI.
Fun things you can do with Linux:
*Update your drivers.
*Brag about your kernals.
*Say you use Linux (which will get your ass kicked)
*Eat KFC chicken around the clock.
*Manually edit config files
*Keep your virginity
*Uhh, well thats pretty much it.
*Update your drivers.
*Brag about your kernals.
*Say you use Linux (which will get your ass kicked)
*Eat KFC chicken around the clock.
*Manually edit config files
*Keep your virginity
*Uhh, well thats pretty much it.
by 1A1EC1E730C2 April 6, 2008
Get the linux mug.Contrary to what is claimed by many Windows-haters, not all versions of Linux are particularly good. The price you pay a stable OS is the amount of fuss and bother you undergo in trying to find a decent version of it!
I installed the free version of Linux that came with the book "Linux for Dummies". It didn't work. I am still trying to work out if there is any irony in the preceding two sentences.
by Dr Pinch September 15, 2004
Get the Linux mug.Related Words
linux • linux user • Linux Zealot • linux-box • LinuxPlayz • linux\ • Linux Bro • Linux Fanboy • linux from scratch • Linux ISO
A non-operating system that still hasn't lived up to its excessive hype, because the geeks in the community are;
(a) too busy arguing with each other over which distro is the best,
(b) blaming Microsoft even for ridiculous things such as huricanes, tsunamis, and last year's boom of aphids, and
(c) producing variants of Linux that are completely incompatible with each other.
While distros of Linux such as Mepis and Ubuntu are showing some promise, it would be logic-defying if the Linux community FINALLY produces something that actually is worth using on the desktop without any program installation hassles by 2010.
(a) too busy arguing with each other over which distro is the best,
(b) blaming Microsoft even for ridiculous things such as huricanes, tsunamis, and last year's boom of aphids, and
(c) producing variants of Linux that are completely incompatible with each other.
While distros of Linux such as Mepis and Ubuntu are showing some promise, it would be logic-defying if the Linux community FINALLY produces something that actually is worth using on the desktop without any program installation hassles by 2010.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the REAL cost of running Linux on the desktop:
Linux distro: $0.00 to $99.99 if you have high-speed internet access, $9.99-$179.99 if you don't.
Linux manual: $19.99 to $79.99
New Modem (because "winmodems" don't run under Linux): $29.99 to $59.99
New Soundcard (because the soundcard you have is not supported): $19.99 to $89.99
New Internet Service Provider (because no popular ISP supports Linux) $7.99 to $39.99
(Note: The non-popular ISPs often don't have free minutes and will charge you like they would a regular phone call).
New graphics-card (because your integrated video card is not supported) $29.99 to $199.99
New printer (because your printer is not supported) $39.99 to $159.99
New scanner (very few are Linux-compatible) $49.99 to $199.99
The sheer frustration of finding out that, despite buying the new hardware and spending weeks of relaxation time tinkering with the command-line code, Linux STILL refuses to perform on the same level as OS-X or Windows XP: Priceless
Windows XP: $99.99 to $199.99
Cost of new hardware (all the hardware you bought for Linux is Windows-compatible) $0.00
And this, my friends is the true cost of running Linux on the desktop.
Linux distro: $0.00 to $99.99 if you have high-speed internet access, $9.99-$179.99 if you don't.
Linux manual: $19.99 to $79.99
New Modem (because "winmodems" don't run under Linux): $29.99 to $59.99
New Soundcard (because the soundcard you have is not supported): $19.99 to $89.99
New Internet Service Provider (because no popular ISP supports Linux) $7.99 to $39.99
(Note: The non-popular ISPs often don't have free minutes and will charge you like they would a regular phone call).
New graphics-card (because your integrated video card is not supported) $29.99 to $199.99
New printer (because your printer is not supported) $39.99 to $159.99
New scanner (very few are Linux-compatible) $49.99 to $199.99
The sheer frustration of finding out that, despite buying the new hardware and spending weeks of relaxation time tinkering with the command-line code, Linux STILL refuses to perform on the same level as OS-X or Windows XP: Priceless
Windows XP: $99.99 to $199.99
Cost of new hardware (all the hardware you bought for Linux is Windows-compatible) $0.00
And this, my friends is the true cost of running Linux on the desktop.
by former penguin May 15, 2005
Get the Linux mug.by pizzleonmynizzle November 16, 2003
Get the linux mug.An open-source kernel, referred as GNU/Linux. Criticised by Windows/Mac users because of it's moderate difficulty of use. Let's hope it's community will continue to be populated by people who have some brain.
Windows fan: Look at my laptop, it's so cool!
Mac fan: Ha! look at mine! (fiddles with GUI)
Windows fan: Yours is shit asdasdasdasdsadasd fuk off
Linux fan: (compiz cube)
Mac fan: HOLY
Windows fan: SHIT
Mac fan: Ha! look at mine! (fiddles with GUI)
Windows fan: Yours is shit asdasdasdasdsadasd fuk off
Linux fan: (compiz cube)
Mac fan: HOLY
Windows fan: SHIT
by vilos April 5, 2010
Get the Linux mug.A free operating system, comparable to Windows.
To all of you that think that it's not compatible with anything, use the fucking program called Wine on there, it's a nice Windows emulator.
To all of you that think that it's not compatible with anything, use the fucking program called Wine on there, it's a nice Windows emulator.
Collin: "My mac is so slow and annoying, it can't do shit"
Joe: "Get Ubuntu Linux"
Collin: "I'll try it"
1 Week later
Collin: "OMG! This is so much better than Windows or Mac!"
Joe: "Get Ubuntu Linux"
Collin: "I'll try it"
1 Week later
Collin: "OMG! This is so much better than Windows or Mac!"
by mrbigfishy June 20, 2009
Get the Linux mug.Person 1: I use Linux
Person 2:
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called Linux, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.
There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called Linux distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux!
Person 2:
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called Linux, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.
There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called Linux distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux!
by DerZombiiie February 19, 2022
Get the Linux mug.