to wake up and masturbate while eating breakfast cereal (usually Cap'n Crunch or Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries)
Every morning I wake up so hungry and horny that I just want to punch the crunch in the breakfast nook.
by Diamond Dave Cousins September 3, 2010

by Gaaaron November 18, 2013

Don't confuse the Neo-Crunches with the hippies; they smoke weed out of glass pipes, not graphix bongs.
by DR. DEL ONE January 24, 2008

It's a community mostly composed of racists and homophobes. The Leader so-called "Captain Crunch" is high power in Mexican drug "Sinaloa Cartel" and a famous twitch streamer known for playing games like "Stardew valley (ResidentSleeper)" and "SCP: Secret Laboratory". He is known to use words like "Welcome to the crunch community!" which is basically welcoming you to his cult. Also, he is obsessed whit nuts.
by ItIsYourBoy March 16, 2021

An expulsion of feces, usually requiring great effort, that is of above average size, usually girth.
by stinkyfinger November 3, 2013

by Jordan Newsom May 19, 2016

Where has all my hard earned investment money gone ?
Down a black hole I,m afraid ! -
It,s happened since The Vile Crunch
hit town ! .
Down a black hole I,m afraid ! -
It,s happened since The Vile Crunch
hit town ! .
by E - FUMBLER March 6, 2009
